"Friedrich Nietzsche said, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." But 10 bucks says Nietzsche never got a swirly."

"Mathematically, it's a percentage of your life: 4 years, 48 months, 1,461 days. High school is prom, football games, …"

"[to a security guard] Alright, Mitch, we're looking for weapons, obviously, anything that can kill a student. Knives,…"

"[to Bobby Funke] You seem to be a little foggy as to why I'm here, Mr. Funke. From what I understand, you've made a m…"

"Reece Thompson - Bobby Funke"

"Mischa Barton - Francesca Fachini"

"Bruce Willis - Principal Kirkpatrick"

"Patrick Taylor - Paul Moore"

"Michael Rapaport - Coach Z"

"You want to know the truth about high school? You've got to break it down into its elements. Unfortunately, at St. Do…"