"[to Mrs. Rittenhouse] Why, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you."

"[singing] Hello, I must be going. I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I'm glad I came, but just the same I…"

"[to audience] Pardon me while I have a strange interlude. Why, you couple of baboons! What makes you think I'd marry …"

"Friends, I'm gonna tell you of the great, mysterious, wonderful continent known as Africa. Africa is God's country, a…"

"Well, this bear was anemic and he couldn't stand the cold climate. He was a rich bear and he could afford to go away …"

"The principal animals inhabiting the African jungle are moose, elks and Knights of Pythias. Of course, you all know w…"

"One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. Then we tried to remove the tu…"

"I don't like Junior crossing the tracks on his way to the reform school. I don't like Junior at all, as a matter of f…"

"Signor Emanuel Ravelli: [about playing bridge] How do you want to play...honest?"

"Groucho Marx - Captain Jeffrey Spaulding"