"Let the healing begin"

"Adam Sandler as David "Dave" Buznik"

"Jack Nicholson as Dr. Buddy Rydell"

"[singing] I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. Oh so pretty and whitty and... gay."

"Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?"

"Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie!"

"I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling-out-my-penis-in-front-of-you-ophobe."

"I want to have children with you! Children! With your eyes and my... last name! That's all I want."

"Why couldn't you have told her something else? I was at the bank! I was at the store! I ate bad guacamole and couldn'…"

"I'm feeling very angry right now, because I have only one bed and no couch."