"I am not a comic, I have never told a joke...The comedian's promise is that he will go out there and make you laugh w…"

"T'ank you veddy much."

"Now, Andy did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch? Andy are you goofing on Elvis? Hey, baby…"

"When you're pregnant, you finally start reading ingredients on food. You start caring about yourself by accident, bec…"

"Once the Cosby thing happened, I was kind of like, anything I hold dear to me truth-wise could be untrue. I'm literal…"

"On China and COVID-19: So our enemy made a virus on purpose that killed tons of people, broke our economy, broke our …"

"The right is taking books out of schools. Who cares, dude? That’s a states’ rights thing. That is between the parents…"

"On Charlie Kirk: He was as close to not a hypocrite as I've seen in a while. Did he lie about stuff? I don’t know. Wa…"

"First off, everything is fair game. Nothing is sacred, especially the "sacred". And since the theme is critical think…"

"I am not afraid of being called an Atheist, which is the most misunderstood word. Even dictionaries seem to be writte…"