"RANK, n. Relative elevation in the scale of human worth."

"KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually…"

"REVERENCE, n. The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man."

"APOSTATE, n. A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, …"

"Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white."

"Virtues, n. pl. Certain abstentions."

"Amnesty, n. The state’s magnaminity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish."

"Hers, pron. His."

"Un-American, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish."

"Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen."