"The Narrator: And so Shrek and his loyal crew set off to find the next king of Far Far Away. As they set off their journey, Shrek and his crew were unaware that Prince Charming and his horde of villains were about to try to take over Far Far Away. The fate of Far Far Away was now in Shrek's hands. He had to find cousin Arthur and bring him back to the castle. But Arthur was reluctant. Getting him back to Far Far Away would not be easy. On the trip home, Arthur tried to gain control of the ship, causing it to crash. Shrek and the gang found themselves shipwrecked on a remote shore, far from home."

"Shrek: Who are you?"

"Shrek: Now where did he go?"

"Prince Charming: Alright, it's been a good run! Excuse me while I exit stage left."

"Shrek: Oh, you don't say."

"Prince Charming: Well, I AM an expert at the theatre. And unfortunately for you, that includes stage fighting."

"Donkey: Encore! Encore! Yeah! That's a show. Come on, Shrek, stand up. Take a bow. They love you. Shrek, Shrek, look, it's Artie. Uh, Arthur. I mean, the king. Always knew he had it with him."

"The Narrator: In the land of Far Far Away, the beloved king had his royal duties."

"King Harold: Hmm, you've got a point. There is another heir to the throne... your cousin, Arthur."

"Shrek: Oh great, now we'll have to walk back to Far Far Away, which if I recall is really far away. Hey, where's Arthur?"

"Donkey: He went that way."

"Private: That, my friend, is top secret information. But I will tell you this... if you see a fairy, pick it up. They have magical powers that will help you on your quest. - Over and out."

"Gloria: There are magical items hidden all around. Collect them and you can gain special abilities."

"Artie: I'm going back to Worcestershire Academy."

"Puss in Boots: Shrek is taking too long. He may need my help!"

"Artie: Show's over, Charming. Come on down from your... cardboard make-believe tower."

"Shrek: Get him Artie! Go for the ropes, Artie!"

"Donkey: Uh-huh. Just like always knew your under big, mean, green, hairy, stinky outside, you'd be a good daddy."

"Artie: This is so lame, Charming. I can guarantee not a single teenager would be caught dead watching this WEAK production. You're missing a huge demographic."

"Artie: You know, for a long time, I told Shrek I didn't want to be king. Too much work, too much hassle. But now I know it's what I have to do."

"Shrek: Oh they'll get a new king alright."

"Prince Charming: Listen to the crowd, Shrek! Do you hear what I hear? I hear thousands of people crying out for a hero! A new king!"

"Prince Charming: What are you talking about?"

"Prince Charming: Guards! Get the boy and chain him up!"

"Prince Charming: Extras! Stage right! Get him! Lightning crew! Capture that boy! Cyclops! That's your cue!"

"Prince Charming: No! You know what they say. It's not over until the fat ogre sings!"

"Artie: Um, I'm not an expert on the theatre, but I'm pretty sure they don't say that."

"Prince charming: Go get your own kingdom! Play to the crowd!"

"Shrek: Alright! Excellent! Take a bow, Charming. Show's over."

"Shrek: Not just yet..."

"Crowd: (Cheers)"

"Shrek: Okay, Donkey, here's a royal decree. Shut it."

"Donkey: Hey, hey. It's fine by me. You wanna keep on being Sir Stinky all the time. I was thinking about the rest of us. You know kinda like a public service."

"Shrek: King? Me? You must be joking."

"Prince Charming: You can't mean that boy Arthur! Ha! I know all about him. He's a coward. Last my men saw, he was skulking away into the woods. In any case, prepare yourself for our big scene, Shrek! It's showtime!"