"Child-rearing around the world boasts a wide variety of customs and mores. But perhaps the most bizarre social patterns can be found within the small island community of Manhattan... The inhabitants of the region known as the Upper East Side have the most prosperous, yet idiosyncratic social systems on the planet. After successfully mating and producing offspring, the men are often distant and uninvolved, leaving their women to hunt, gather and provide for their families. Yet the resourceful mothers of the Upper East Side have plenty of time to participate in a variety of sex-role specific activities. These include body mutilation, sacred meditation, even fasting rituals. Which brings us to our focus on child-rearing: Who actually does it? Well, in Africa, they have a saying, "It takes a village to raise a child." But for the tribe of the Upper East Side, it takes just one person: the Nanny."

"You want to know about the dads? I'll tell you about the dads. They're chubby, bald, steak-eating, cigar-smoking, type-A pigs who get more turned on by the Bloomberg Wire than they do by any hot nannies. Actually, it's all of you in about 5 years. So take it from me, guys: Enjoy tonight, because your future looks pretty fucking bleak."

"There's a common belief among anthropologists that you must immerse yourself in an unfamiliar world in order to truly understand your own."

"Brande Roderick as Tanya"

"Nina Garbiras as Miss Chicago"

"Judith Roberts as Milicent"

"Paul Giamatti as Mr. Stan X"

"Julie White as Jane Gould"

"Scarlett Johansson as Annie "Nanny" Braddock"

"Laura Linney as Mrs. Alexandra X"

"Nate Corddry as Calvin"

"Heather Simms as Murnel"

"Nicholas Reese Art as Grayer Addison X"

"Alice Lee — Rachel"

"Miles Heizer — David"

"Lucien Laviscount — Trey"

"Jameela Jamil — Swapna"

"Tommy Do — Nam"

"Lukas Gage — Buck"

"Molly Shannon — Wanda"

"Emily Bader — Poppy"

"When your best friend is actually your soulmate."

"Tom Blyth — Alex"

"I spent most of my life looking for somewhere I belonged. And believe me, I search everywhere. But it's a thin line between searching and running away. So after all my searching, this is what I've learned. Home is where you can be entirely yourself. In fact, home doesn't have to be a place at all. It doesn't matter where you go or what you do. When you're with the person who loves you, for you, you're always home. Even on vacation."

"Sarah Catherine Hook — Sarah"

"Alan Ruck — Jimmy"

"On vacation, you can be anyone you want. You can do anything you want. Or being on vacation, transport you into another version of yourself. Because on vacation, you strike up conversations with fellow travelers. You're more outgoing, more confident. On vacation, you're free. Free to nourish your soul. Free to follow your heart."

"When people think of home, they think of the place where they live or maybe the place they grew up. Those places never felt like home to me."

"On vacation, you’re free to follow your heart."

"Michael Strong - Colonel Varney"

"Lisa Jane Persky - Mary Anne Meechum"

"Paul Gleason - First Lieutenant Sammy"

"Brian Andrews - Matthew Meechum"

"Julie Anne Haddock - Karen Meechum"

"Michael O'Keefe - Ben Meechum"

"Blythe Danner - Lillian "Lil" Meechum"

"Stan Shaw - Toomer Smalls"

"David Keith - "Red" Pettus"

"I'd like to propose a toast, to my son. He is eighteen today. He has just ordered his first drink. Before he drinks it, I'd like to wish him a long life, a wife as fine as his mother, and a son as fine as he's been. To my son!"