"Millie Pickens: [Eyeing Raden's bankroll] Say, if I had a wad of folding dough like that I'd go right out and buy an outfit that would knock this neighborhood cockeyed!"

"Nehemiah Persoff - Professor Mitchell Traven, one of the scientists from the experiment that created Julius and Vincent."

"Danny DeVito - Vincent Benedict, Julius' younger fraternal twin brother."

"Marshall Bell - Mr. Webster"

"Frank M. Thomas — Sheriff"

"I had one of them Frenchmen living here last year. Honest to goodness every time you'd turn 'round, that Frenchman was grabbin' your hand and kissing until he'd like to pull the skin off."

"Maude Eburne — Mrs. Pickens"

"Gordon Jones — Bill Oakley"

"William Stack — Minister"

"Arnold Schwarzenegger - Julius Benedict, Vincent's older fraternal twin brother."

"Bonnie Bartlett - Mary Ann Benedict, the twins' biological mother."

"Marvin J. McIntyre - McKinley's man"

"Jason Reitman - Granger's grandson"

"Archie Twitchell — Judge"

"Susan Hayward — Millie Pickens"

"Jean Phillips — Peggy Nolan"

"What horrible fascination did this monster have for women?"

"Harry Carey — Dr. Ben Saunders"

"Albert Dekker — John Raden / Paul Raden"

"Frances Farmer — Elaine Raden"

"Harlan Briggs — Judge"

"Dorothy Sebastian — Woman in Cafe"

"I don't know what the problem is, but I'm sure it can be solved without resorting to violence."

"Thank you for the cookies. I look forward to tossing them."

"Kelly Preston - Marnie Mason, Linda's sister and Julius' girlfriend-turned-wife."

"Chloe Webb - Linda Mason, Marnie's sister and Vincent's girlfriend-turned-wife."

"David Caruso - Al Greco, a friend of Vincent's."

"Trey Wilson - Beetroot McKinley"

"Ernest Whitman — Bill Oakley"

"Hugh O'Brian - Granger, one of the twins' six fathers"

"Serge Fedoroff - Nostrodamus"

"Martin Pepper - Martin"

"Jennie C. Kos - The Pregnant Mother"

"Yvan Chiffre - Tax Collector #1"

"Edie McClurg - The Queen"

"Rikki Marin - Princess II"

"Robbi Chong - Princess III"

"Roy Dotrice - The Evil Fuckaire/Ye Old Jailer"

"Dan Schwarz - Tax Collector #2"

"Jean-Claude Dreyfus - Marquis Du Hickey"

"Tommy Chong - Lucian Corsican"

"Shelby Chong - Princess I"

"Rae Dawn Chong - The Gypsy"

"Don't be a stupid Fuckaire."

"Fuckaire, the only thing I want to say is: you've kept me in a dungeon, and you've beaten me, and you've tortured me, and you even kissed me. And, I want these people to know that the only thing you've really done is make me really, really hungry."

"Believe me, if you weren't a woman, I'd kiss you for that."

"Tickle your buns with a feather! Aheeee!"

"I'm so hungry I could eat a bowl of lard with a hair in it!"