comedians-from-new-zealand

"So you're playing to your audience in a way. And of course, because when you get older, there's not much on the stage that reflects you. People love to see themselves reflected on the stage. ... That's what theatre should be. It should be telling us stuff about ourselves. And when you get to be over 70, that's what we're doing,"

"Keep in mind that the people who go to the theatre tend to be older. I put on a theatre show two years ago now or a year and a half, something like that,"

"it’s important to not just sit around and wait for somebody else to give you work: “It's nice if somebody else does, but you can't survive in this industry [if you don’t] create your own stuff.”"

"I blame that cow Mother Teresa"

"And here endeth the sizzle"

"Because I "needed" them for school I had previously extorted a chemistry set, a soldering iron a magnifying glass, a tape recorder, a fountain pen, a Stanley knife, a compass, a torch, a set of oil paints, a speedometer for my bike, some sea monkeys, an Electra set, a halliwell's, a subscription to Weapons and Warfare and a ticket to the opening night of the Hamilton film festival. I'm sure if I'd claimed I needed one for biology she'd have hooked me up with a prostitute."

"Dogs, now they're the real arse bandits!"