Zoolander

"Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your "do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way"?"

"At the Derek Zoolander Center for Children Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really ridiculously good-looking."

"Words can only hurt you if you try to read them. Don't play their game!"

"Maybe there's more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking?"

"Rufus, Brint, and Meekus were like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it, which is more meaningful, I think. If there's anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we, too, can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."

"I hear a lot of words like "beauty" and "handsomeness" and "incredibly chiseled features." To me, that's like a vanity that - a self-absorption that I try to steer clear of. I dig the bungee. I mean, for me, it's just the way I live my life. I grip it, and I rip it. I live with a lot of flair. I live it on the edge, where I gotta be. I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut. I was always more interested in, uh, what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music that he's created over the years. I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot."

"Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique."

"It's that damn Hansel – He's so hot right now!"

"Shut up! Enough already, Ballstein. Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake! Blue Steel, Ferrari, Le Tigre? They're the same face! Doesn't anyone notice this?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie. I invented it! What have you done, Derek? Nothing! YOU'VE DONE NOTHING! NOTHING!! And I will be a monkey's uncle if I let you ruin this for me, because if you can't get the job done then I will. [To the Malaysian Prime Minister] DIE YOU WAGE HIKING SCUM!"

"Todd! Are you not aware that I get farty and bloated with a foamy latte!? [Todd: [nervously, as the latte is thrown at him] M-my mistake, Jacobim!]"

"Obey my dog!"

"He better be here because I'm a hot little potato right now!"

"Do as you've trained to do... AND KILL THE MALAYSIAN PRIME MINISTER!"

"Ben Stiller – Derek Zoolander"

"Owen Wilson – Hansel"

"Christine Taylor – Matilda Jeffries"

"Will Ferrell – Mugatu"

"Milla Jovovich – Katinka"

"Jerry Stiller – Maury Ballstein"

"David Duchovny – J.P. Prewitt"

"Jon Voight – Larry Zoolander"

"Judah Friedlander – Scrappy Zoolander"

"Nathan Lee Graham – Todd"

"Alexandre Manning – Brint"

"Asio Highsmith – Rufus"

"Alexander Skarsgård – Meekus"

"Andy Dick – Olga the Masseuse"

"Nora Dunn – British Designer"

"Jennifer Coolidge – American Designer"

"Vince Vaughn – Luke Zoolander"

"Andrew Wilson – Buzzy Sullivan, Surfer Extraordinaire"

"Henry Brogdon – local badass, male servicer"

"Billy Zane – Himself"

"Donald Trump – Himself"

"Christian Slater – Himself"

"Tom Ford – Himself"

"Cuba Gooding, Jr. – Himself"

"Steve Kmetko – Himself"

"Tommy Hilfiger – Himself"

"Natalie Portman – Herself"

"Fabio – Himself"

"Lenny Kravitz – Himself"

"Gwen Stefani – Herself"

"Gavin Rossdale – Himself"

"Heidi Klum – Herself"

"Paris Hilton – Herself"

"David Bowie – Himself"

"Tyson Beckford – Himself"

"Fred Durst – Himself"

"Lance Bass – Himself"