Theodore Hook

"An arch wag has declar'd, that he truly can say Why the Prince did not lay the first stone t'other day: The Restrictions prevented — the reason is clear; The Regent can't meddle in making a pier."

"Shelley styles his new poem "Prometheus Unbound," And 'tis like to remain so while time circles round; For surely an age would be spent in the finding A reader so weak as to pay for the binding!"

"When Anacreon would fight, as the poets have said, A reverse he display'd in his vapour, For while all his poems were loaded with lead, His pistols were loaded with paper. For excuses, Anacreon old custom may thank, Such a salvo he should not abuse, For the cartridge, by rule, is always made blank, That is fired away at Reviews."

"Two Miltons in separate ages were born: The cleverer Milton 'tis clear we have got, Though the other had talents the world to adorn, This lives by his mews, which the other could not!"

"This pair in matrimony Go most unequal snacks: He gets all the Honey, And she gets all the whacks."

"Cease, ye Etonians! and no more With rival wits contend: Feathers, we know, will float in air, And bubbles will ascend."

"It seems as if Nature had curiously plann'd That men's names with their trades should agree; There's Twining the Tea-man, who lives in the Strand, Would be whining, if robb'd of his T."

"Cease your humming; The case is "on"; Defendant's Cumming, Plaintiff's—gone!"