The Nut Job

"[first lines of the film; voice over] When you're an animal, life's a balancing act. Each day is a quest to find food to survive. It's a tough nut to crack. Wait... you think I'm one of those pigeons? No, no, no, no. This is me right here. I mean, I got no problem with my feathered friends. (In fact, I get a real kick out of 'em.) They're really soft on the feet. And they're always building these little picnic baskets that offer the occasional treat. Apparently, not today. Thanks for nothin'. At the end of the day, I'm just like all you fine people. I'm no hero. I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut. Oh, and that's my buddy named... well, Buddy. He don't talk much. Yeah, they say the world's there for the taking. So that's just what we're gonna do."

"Okay, we get in, we fill our bellies, but we do it my way."

"Buddy, we found it! The lost city of Nutlantis!"

"We dig here, from the alley into the basement."

"We're talking almonds, pistachios, walnuts, Brazils. [King: Enough cashews to buy yourselves a racetrack.] And did I mention the peanut brittle? [Johnny: Is that a candy, or a nut?] [chuckles] Both."

"I gotta tell ya, the nerve of those bums. The nerve of those bums! [mockingly] "Raccoon would approve of this." Oh really?! Raccoon?! That guy?! HE'S A BIGGER THIEF THAN I AM! But those blockheads can't see it. They're blind as Mole. I'm the brains of this outfit! I'm the guy with the...the brains! Did I already say that? Raccoon's nothing but a lyin' old sack of fur! WHAT?!"

"[referring to Grayson] Buddy, watch him. And keep him away from sharp objects."

"[mousetrap] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! Omf! [Precious barking] [Lucky: Shut her up, Fingers!] [Fingers: I got this.]"

"YOU DON'T NEED A CAPE! I can't help the park alone. I'm not a hero, but you are. Last summer during that heatwave, who discovered that broken sprinkler so everyone could have water? [Grayson: I did?] That's right. They believe in heroes. So snap out of it and be one! It's hero time."

"[last lines of the film; voice over] Yeah, they say life's there for the taking. But the truth is, life's really there for the sharing. Once you realize that, you might discover there's a little hero in all of us. After all, we're all a little nuts."

"You should've had a trial, Surly. I'm sorry."

"Do you really think Grayson should be coming with me? I don't think he's recovered from that hit on the head."

"[looks around the nut store] This is incredible! There's enough food here to feed the park for years!"

"Hey, listen! For as long as this old mill has stood, we have always worked together and kept our promises. We are NOT a pack of wild animals! [brief silence] Well... Okay, we are, but... [Jimmy burps, Johnny laughs] Winter is coming. If we don't work with Surly, we won't survive."

"[to Raccoon about Surly] You're a thief, not Surly. He was right about you."

"This park will always honor your deals, Surly."

"[repeated line] For the park!"

"All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws!"

"Why are you hesitating? [talks about Surly's "crimes"] He's refused to join us, ridiculed our hard work, stolen, cheated, lied, and now destroyed our only food for winter! What say all?!"

"The day Surly saves this park is the day nuts will rain from the skies. Hmm, there could be an accident."

"He'll warn the others! What are you waiting for? [kicks a rat] After him!"

"Never, you backstabbing vermin! Surly goes down with me!"

"[last lines, turns to Cardinal] Anymore big ideas? [Cardinal turns, stretches his wings ready to fly away] Please stay. [Cardinal puts his wings down, sharks circle the buoy]"

"[repeated line] Olé!"

"Honestly, woman! I am still the park hero around here. [clicks tongue] Which reminds me: why haven't you asked me out on a date?"

"Never fear, this sweet body is undamaged! [faints]"

"GO ON WITHOUT ME! SAVE THE PARK!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Surly, you left me! [Surly pushes him away] Wait! Man, don't leave me alone! There is a crazed rat up there!"

"I call for a vote! Agreed! All those in favor of banishment, raise your paws!"

"By the authority granted by Raccoon and the park community,-- Oh, this is too high! --Surly Squirrel is hereby banished to the city, never to return to our beloved Liberty Park. [sighs in relief] Can I please get down now?"

"Oh, the sun's coming up. I must take refuge in the safety of darkness. Out of my way!"

"Why aren't we doing this at night?"

"Less food means more control! If the heist succeeds, Raccoon will lose control of the park! [regains confidence] But, so what? You don't care about the park, do you? [backs away from Surly]"

"Raccoon is... the double-crosser! You have to... believe me! [Surly: Hang on, Mole!] WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?!"

"If I don't get rid of you, they're gonna send me back to the pound. Alright? And I can't go back to that pound!"

"I'm dead! [The Bruises and Andie run to behind a tire, Mole runs into it] They're gonna send me back to that dog pound, Surly. I know it! I just know it! What am I gonna do?! What am I gonna do?! You gotta help me! I'll do whatever you say. [begins to cry] Whatever you say!"

"Hey, don't tell the other dogs we're friends, alright? Wouldn't look good. [sees Mole run into the gate] Ooh, that guy needs glasses."

"Psst. Buddy. Come with me."

"Okay, Surly, so, uh... So see you at the nut store. [Surly: Wait, what? That place?] Yeah, Lana's the new owner. Hey, no more whistles, huh? Just face licks. [walks away, sees Andie] Oh, hi, Andie. [she doesn't answer]"

"[to Fingers and Lucky] Knock it off. I got enough on my plate without you two horsing around. Ya dig?"

"This really is my last job. [sadly walks into the tunnel]"

"State lines are just past this dam, then we are home free."

"[latest words before defeat, sobs] Take me away, officers. Take me away. Just save me from the rats."

"Fingers: What's his problem?"

"Lucky: [about King's betrayal] You'll never get away with this."

"Lana: Percy "King" Dimpleweed, you and I are officially through."

"Sarge: I need to see your vendor permits."

"Redline: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"

"Will Arnett — Surly"

"Brendan Fraser — Grayson"