Six-String Samurai

"In 1957, the bomb dropped, and the Russians took over what was America. The last bastion of freedom became a place called Lost Vegas, and Elvis was crowned King. After forty rockin' years, The King is dead. Every guitar picking, sword swinging opportunist, including Death himself, hears the call echoing across the wastelands... Vegas needs a new King."

"What are you lookin' at? You look up at the sky, you look down on the ground, but you don't look at me, kid. Got it?"

"Float away, little butterfly. Just flutter away. I got a gig in Vegas. And the wastelands ain't no place for kids."

"You still there? [Marks a line on the ground with his katana] Cross that line, kid, I'll cut your little teddy bear in half. Last kid that crossed that line, I had to summon up the Spinach Monster with my rock 'n' roll magic. The Spinach Monster grabbed him, pulled him underground and made him eat spinach all day. Rumor has it, kid... he's still there."

"[Tired of the kid bawling and being a nuisance] I wonder where I could trade the kid for a ratchet?"

"Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me!"

"[as Buddy arrives at Ward Cleaver's property] How they hell are ya', boy? Hey, you finished payin' off that new Plymouth of yours? I tell ya', I sure hope to HELL you didn't go to one of those boys on the lot. They see you comin' a mile away, ready to EAT you alive! Those Plymouth dealers will tell ya' they're cuttin' you a break, when all they're doin' is just fattenin' ya' up for the slaughter."

"That's a pretty nice tuxedo. A pretty nice tuxedo to DIE IN!"

"Russian General: I do not like rock-and-roll music. This is too loud! I like folk music, soft, nice music, huh? Polka, waltz, anything!"

"Satellite DJ: You're listening to K-LOST, home of the Apocalypse. The call in question of the day is, who will be the new king? I'm sending in an ICBM across the wasteland for all of you on the yellow brick road to Vegas looking for a hero. If you find one send him my way, baby."

"Vegas Needs A New King"

"All Superheroes Wear Glasses..."

"Jeffrey Falcon as Buddy, a parody of Buddy Holly"

"Justin McGuire as the Kid"

"Stephane Gauger - Death, a parody of Slash"

"George L. Casillas - Mariachi, a parody of Ritchie Valens"

"Monti Ellison - Head Pin Pal"

"Kareem - Bowler #2"

"Paul Szopa - Bowler #3"

"Richard McGuire - the Cantina owner"

"Gabrille Pimenter - Little Man"

"Dan Barton - Ward Cleaver"

"Lora Witty - Harriet Cleaver"

"Rheagan Wallace - Peggy Cleaver"

"Nathaniel Bresler - Rusty Cleaver"

"John Sarkisian - the Russian General"

"Euan MacDonald - Russian Lieutenant #1"

"Henrik Henrickson - Russian Lieutenant #2"

"Kim De Angelo - the Mother"