Shortpacked!

"Ethan: Doesn't anybody care about what Megatron wants?"

"Robin: Ya got more ponies than the Indy 500."

"Ethan: You know you've been on the computer too much when you wonder which cheap Photoshop filter was used to make the pretty clouds in the sky."

"Ethan: You're the reason why we have correctional facilities."

"Mike: There's a mugged leprechaun at the end of every rainbow."

"Ethan: This is a coffee house. We pay extra to be hated."

"Faz: You are no doubt ansconding to your girlfriends to gossip about the exotic allure of my uncircumscized penis. Success?"

"Galasso: Will no one flood my daughter with sperm?"

"Robin: Can there be spankings?"

"Ninja Rick: Do they not realize that to be truly ninja you must speak "-chan" after every other noun??"

"Conquest: Why does my father believe I harbor some manner of pillow fetish?"

"Ultra Car: What an insane world I live in, said the talking automobile."

"Robin: Dora the Explorer tastes like brain damage."

"Mike: They're all dressed the same and praying. I think they're a cult. Can I set them on fire?"

"Amber: Do you have any idea how much paperwork there is if you kill Mike on the clock?! And I'm gonna have to fill it all out!"

"Ultra Car: It's repeatable, sloppy, it denigrates the other party, and it feels great. I wonder if this is what sex is like."

"Ethan: And I can't believe everyone's fancy makeovers happened while the gay guy was gone."

"Ethan: Every half hour I have to go back to my store and make sure Faz is wearing pants."

"Leslie: I think I prefer my evil to be unapologetic."

"Ethan: Enjoying our job is clearly forbidden in our handbook."

"Ethan: Power Rangers is just one of those eternal things, like death, taxes, or The Simpsons."

"Robin: I totally just had one of those awesome eighties movie montages!"

"Robin: I picked the wrong day to start drinking dish detergent."

"Ethan: Give me a moment so that I may appear conflicted."