Norbit

"I didn't touch your seat."

"No, that's just my... my wife."

"No, the one, suckin' the jelly outta them doughnuts."

"Rasputia, I know we're a little nervous because we've never done this before, but we can take our time, darling. In sweet time. Yes. [Rasputia leans into the doorway wearing lingerie] AAAHHH!!! AAAHHH!!! [Rasputia runs and jumps on Norbit, breaking their bed in the process] OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

"HALT!!!!!! [Rasputia runs and jumps on Norbit, breaking their bed once again] 187, officer down!"

"Happy president's day! [Rasputia runs and jumps on Norbit and we see the bed is propped up with cinderblocks. Rasputia and Norbit both bounce up off the bed and come down again] God bless America!"

"Yes, it did! And that makes you the Queen of (mouth silently)!"

"Wow, that was some nice show, Norbit."

"[After seeing Rasputia] Oh, yeah! She's pretty!"

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Rice."

"I just don't trust you anymore."

"Norbit, what are you doing?!"

""What?! No! Don't be silly. You're married, you're here..."

"Norbit, where you go?! Why you run off?"

"Whale, ho!"

"Yeah, gonna blow!"

"It just like old times. Maybe you two go take poop together."

""Bingo! Right in the blowhole!"

"Damn it, Norbit! How many times I gotta tell you, don't be messin' with my car seat?!"

"That's MY wine cooler!"

"[repeated line] How YOU doin'!"

"[Norbit singing "Tuesday" in the shower] Say Tuesday again, and you ain't gonna see Wednesday!"

"I'ma show you how a chick go down a slide!"

"It's your birthday?! Oh you think it's your birthday, huh?"

"That's what your stupid black butt get!"

"KATE, FOOL!!"

"Hell to the no!"

"Did somebody just call me a whale?"

"Have You Ever Made A Really Big Mistake?"

"Nice Guy. Huge Problem."

"Eddie Murphy - Norbit Albert Rice / Hangten Wong / Rasputia Latimore"

"Khamani Griffin - young Norbit (age 5)"

"Austin Reid - young Norbit (age 9)"

"Jonathan Robinson - young Norbit (age 17)"

"Lindsey Sims-Lewis - young Rasputia (age 10)"

"Yves Lola St. Vil - young Rasputia (age 17)"

"Thandie Newton - Kate Thomas, Norbit's best friend, in whom he has a romantic interest."

"China Anderson - young Kate (age 5)"

"Terry Crews - Big Black Jack Latimore"

"Lester "Rasta" Speight - Blue Latimore"

"Clint Powell - Earl Latimore"

"Cuba Gooding, Jr. - Deion Hughes"

"Eddie Griffin - Pope Sweet Jesus"

"Katt Williams - Lord Have Mercy"

"Floyd Levine - Abe"

"Anthony Russell - Sam Giovanni"

"Pat Crawford Brown - Mrs. Henderson"

"Jeanette Miller - Mrs. Coleman"

"Michael Colyar - Morris"

"Marlon Wayans - Buster "Bust-A-Move" Perkin"