My Big Fat Greek Wedding

"[after her daughter Nikki behaves rudely] Skase! Be a lady!"

"Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say."

"[upon learning Ian is a vegetarian] What do you mean, he don't eat no meat? [The entire room stops, in shock. We hear plates break and there are gasps.] ...That's okay, that's okay. I make lamb."

"[to Ian's parents] Now, you are family. Okay. All my life, I had a lump at the back of my neck, right here. Always, a lump. Then I started menopause and the lump got bigger from the "hormonees." It started to grow. So I go to the doctor, and he did the bio... the b... the... the bios... the... b... the "bobopsy." Inside the lump he found teeth and a spinal column. Yes. Inside the lump was my twin. [Ian's parents are horrified. Voula grabs a drink and toasts.] Opa!!"

"Toula. Toula! You're engaged! You're engaged-We never think this would happen for you-Never! Never. Taki, didn't we say that..?"

"[Watching Ian dance at the reception] Oh, Taki... he looks Greek."

"[Telling Ian's Family] Look, this is what we do. The parents, they give a gift."

"[To Gus and Maria] Woe to me, business is bad."

"[After Nick accidentally hears his name called] No, my Nikki. She was supposed to come over and curl my hair."

"[narrating] When I was growing up, I knew I was different. The other girls were blonde and delicate. And I was a swarthy six-year-old with sideburns."

"[narrating] In Greek school, where I learned valuable lessons such as: "If Nick has one goat and Maria has nine, how soon will they marry?""

"[narrating] My dad believed in two things: That Greeks should educate non-Greeks about being Greek and that any ailment from psoriasis to poison ivy could be cured with Windex."

"[narrating] Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, thirty and way past my expiration date."

"Ma, you gonna make me swallow my tongue!"

"[seeing herself in her wedding gown for the first time] I'm a snow beast!"

"Toula, there's two kinds of people: Greeks and everybody else who wish they were Greeks."

"[to Ian's parents] Welcome to my home. Over here is my brother, Ted, and his wife, Melissa, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. Over here, my brother Tommy, his wife Angie, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. And here, my brother George, his wife Freda, and their children, Anita, Diane and Nick. Taki, Sophie, Kari, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, uh, Nikki, and I am Gus."

"[at the wedding reception] Hello. Welcome to the Portokalos family and welcome the-the Miller family. I-I was thinking last night, um, the night before my-my daughter was gonna marry, uh, I-an Miller, that, um, you know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word "milo", which is mean apple, there you go. As many of you know, our name Portokalos is come from the Greek word "portokali", which means orange. So, okay, here tonight we have, uh, apple and orange... we all different, but, in the end, we all fruit."

"[To Maria and Toula] It is mistake to educate women but, nobody listen to me cause now we have a boyfriend in the house! Is he nice Greek boy? Oh no no Greek! No Greek xeno! Xeno with the long hair on top of his head!"

"[to young Nick] Niko! Don't play with your food! When I was your age, we didn't have food!"

"[after Athena offers to buy her some new pantyhose] No queen size, they make me look fat."

"[to Toula] I gave you life so that you could live it."

"Greek School Teacher: Ο Νίκος έχει ένα κατσίκι. (Nikos has one goat.)"

"Nick: I've never seen my sister this happy, Ian. [serious] If you hurt her, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident."

"Nia Vardalos as Toula Portokalos"

"John Corbett as Ian Miller"

"Michael Constantine as Kostas "Gus" Portokalos"

"Lainie Kazan as Maria Portokalos"

"Andrea Martin as Aunt Voula"

"Louis Mandylor as Niko "Nick" Portokalos"

"Stavroula Logothettis as Athena"

"Bess Meisler as Yiayia"