Michael Flanders

"Pity the poor old rhino with A bodger on its bonce."

"The bottle-nosed whale is a furlong long, And likewise wise But headstrong strong"

"Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair His fair Hippopotamine maid. The Hippopotamus was no ignoramus And sang her this sweet serenade: Mud! Mud! Glorious mud! Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood. So, follow me, follow, down to the hollow, And there let us wallow in glorious mud."

"I'm a g-nu, I'm a g-nu, The g-nicest work of g-nature in the zoo"

"Hold very tight please Ting ting"

"No more will I go To Blandford Forum And Mortehoe - On the Slow Train From Midsomer Norton And Mumby Road - No churns, no porter No cat on a seat At Chorlton-cum-Hardy Or Chester-le-Street I won't be leaving again On the Slow Train"

"The English, the English, the English are best - I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest!"

"And all the world over, each nation's the same; They've simply no mission of playing the game. They argue with umpires - they cheer when they've won And they practice beforehand, which ruins the fun. The English are moral, the English are good And clever, and modest, and misunderstood!"

"Son, son, I admire your sincerity. Always be sincere - whether you mean it or not."