Little Fockers

"I'm watching you."

"[as Jack is being loaded into an ambulance, to Greg] Focker!"

"We've had this date since the beginning, Greg."

"Are you still physically attracted to my daughter, Greg?"

"[sternly] Even after her body's endured the hellish ordeal of birthing twins?"

"That's disgusting."

"What about Mommy and Daddy, is everything okay with them?"

"Mmm-hmm. And what do they fight about?"

"Who's Andi?"

"Like I always tell you, there's nothing wrong with spying as long as you suspect foul play. So, who's Andi?"

"If I go down, Greg, I need to know someone will be responsible for the whole Byrnes clan. So I ask you, Greg, are you prepared to be... the Godfocker?"

"Focker, there is no way I'm going to an ER room with this thing. Now you need to stick me and you need to stick me now! I'm having a dick attack! Stick me!"

"I'm not gay myself. But if I were gay, I would certainly be proud to choose a life partner like Gay Focker. And that's his actual name."

"Dr. Bob. Scumbag."

"Greg, he saw his father inject a needle into his grandfather's penis. He already had issues. That's something he might never recover from."

"What wheel?"

"Sam might be three quarters Byrnes, whereas Henry could very well have a double dose of Focker in him. Double dose."

"I know you were telling the truth about Andi, Greg."

"Yeah. The pulse on your carotid antery remained steady as you pleaded your innocence."

"[to his cat after seeing the remixed video of Greg's rant] That's the Godfocker? [cat hisses]"

"Yeah, well I have eyes too. So I'll be watching you... watching me."

"To Pam? Are you kidding? Yes. Jack, there's never been a problem with that."

"Yes. Even after that. It's still... It's all good. It's all good under the hood."

"Nobody's tempted, nobody..."

"[sarcastically] Our dear friend the Buddha? How's he doing? It's been so long. Do you ever listen to yourself?"

"Well, I got good news for you. You're not Jesus."

"What are you talking about? You were his golden boy."

"Really? He said that to you?"

"Circle of Trust."

"He's not a doctor."

"Not in *any* sense of word."

"Mmm. Well, I think Harvard's cheaper."

"Don't do that."

"You're not going to erase my son's memory."

"I'm getting off the wheel."

"[losing it] The wheel! The little hamster wheel that we're all running up to get a little taste of your little water thingy!"

"[imitates a hamster]"

"Just please, approval! Approval! Please! Give me some of the Jack... yeah..."

"Really? To you waving your hands over him? He's not a Ouija board, Kevin."

"[to Kevin] Why don't you get on your stupid monster yacht with your bubble-butt Russian girlfriend and do Jell-O shots off of Deepak Chopra's butt?"

"Why is he cursing at us?"

"We're just trying to help you, sir..."

"I guess they fight sometimes."

"Um, like Mommy got mad at Daddy because he was going to the hotel with Andi."

"I can't say because I'm not supposed to be spying."

"Andi gives Daddy his boners."

"Look, it's natural to get a little tempted."

"Look, even our dear friend, the Buddha had to pass through samsara on his way to enlightenment."

"I speak from the heart, off the cuff, like my man, J.C. at the Sermon on the Mount. You said that's what you've always admired about me."

"Not in the Western sense of word."