Hot Rod (film)

"So, cool beans?"

"You're wrong, Frank. I'm not a kid, I'm a man. I am gonna get you better, and then I'm gonna beat you to death!"

"I need to go to my quiet place!"

"I needed to think last night. So I galloped into a wooded glen, and after punch dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what has to be done."

"You're the devil!"

"Have fun being married to SATAN!"

"Life's Short, Stunt it!"

"I'm officially kicking off Phase Two: Operation Fiscal Jackhammer."

"[singing] Please believe, I do my laundry with no pants on!"

"I'd rather die than live in a world where I can't kick your ass."

"You have only to believe if you wish to achieve. That rhymed. Unintentional."

"The front of his face exploded out the back of his skull. He died instantly, the next day."

"I used to be legit. In fact, I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. But now I'm not legit. I'm unlegit. And for that reason, I must quit."

"Who wants to see me do a BIG-ASS STUNT!!!"

"When you go on a date, you put on a shirt, and you drive your bike to the DAAAATE!"

"He's your real dad so he automatically loves you. But I'm his step-son, I have to earn it."

"But I still to kick your ass (Frank). How can I do that if you're dead??"

"It's bouncing around the Web like a beach ball at a Nickelback concert."

"Cool beans."

"Rod, are you okay?"

"Never—sneak up on a man who's been in a chemical fire."

"Old man, young heart!"

"Play the victim and you will be the victim."

"You're a pussy."

"I'm freakin pumped! I've been drinking green tea all goddamn day!"

"I don't even cry, and look at me, you're about to make tears come outta my face!"

"My balls itch more than a flea on a jack russel terrier!"

"Hahahahahahahaa... I'ma go drop some dumpage."

"Yoohoo sh[*]theads, I just found a bag of fireworks in the men's restrooms; would you guys like to light them off?"

"Don't you EVER try to tell me how to live my life AGAIN!"

"I go to church every goddamn Sunday! You gonna bring the demons outta me?"

"Now I don't want to say that kiss was hot, but if the boner police are here, I demand a lawyer!"

"I've got a tattoo here that fully illustrates my point. It's of this rebellious young man, and he's urinating on an FM radio. And then this other stream of urine is going onto that television set. Implausible, I know, but I like to think that he had sex the night before, and a little bit of residue is blocking his urethra, allowing the urine to flow in two separate directions."