Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"[after his parents have left, thinking he is ill] They bought it. Incredible! One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this? This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably gonna have to barf up a lung, so I'd better make this one count. The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom. I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh, you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. I do have a test today, that wasn't bullshit. It's on European socialism. I mean really, what's the point. I'm not European. I don't plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they're socialists. They could be fascist anarchists and it still doesn't change the fact that I don't own a car."

"It's not that I condone fascism or any 'ism' for that matter. Ism's, in my opinion, are not good. A person should not believe in an 'ism,' he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon: 'I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me.' A good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off of people."

"If anybody needs a day off it's Cameron. He's got a lotta things to sort out before he graduates. He can't be wound up this tight and go to college. His roommate'll kill him. Pardon my French, but Cameron is so uptight, if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in 2 weeks, you'd have a diamond."

"Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work."

"[after he barely gets back in bed, and his parents leave the room] Yep. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

"[last line; in post-credits scene] [to home audience; after emerging from his bedroom] You're still here? It's over. Go home. [walks back to his bedroom; shoos audience away] Go."

"[on the phone after her encounter with Rooney] Look, this is not a phony phone call. There is an intruder, male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird, in my kitchen. My name's Bueller. [pause] Look, it's real nice that you hope my brother's feeling better, but I'm in danger. Okay? I'm very cute, I'm very alone, and I'm very protective of my body. I do not want it violated or killed! All right?! I need help! [pause again] Speak any English?! [hangs up] DICK HEAD!"

"[discovers that Ferris has been faking being sick and sneaking out of the house by finding a mannequin in his bed] I KNEW IT!!!"

"One Man's Struggle to Take It Easy"

"Leisure Rules"

"Matthew Broderick - Ferris Bueller"

"Alan Ruck - Cameron Frye"

"Mia Sara - Sloane Peterson"

"Jeffrey Jones - Ed Rooney"

"Jennifer Grey - Jeanie Bueller"

"Cindy Pickett - Katie Bueller"

"Lyman Ward - Tom Bueller"

"Edie McClurg - Grace"

"Charlie Sheen - Boy in Police Station"

"Ben Stein - Economics Teacher"

"Del Close - English Teacher"

"Kristy Swanson - Simone Adamley"

"Edward LeBeau - Gym Teacher"