"[To his Minions] What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice. [all cheering] Ah? That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh?! But that's not all! We stole the Statue of Liberty! [Minions cheer] The small one from Las Vegas. [Minions groan with disappointment] And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas."

"Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the true crime of the century! We... are going... to steal... [all the minions pull out weapons] Wait, wait! I have not told you what it is yet! [Dave the minion fires a missile that scatters another group of minions] Hey. Dave, listen up, please! [Dave looks down and murmurs in embarrassment; one of the singed minions walks over and punches Dave] Next, we are going to steal... [long pause] pause for effect… [opens skylight] ...THE MOON!"

"[repeated line, whenever he has an idea] Light bulb..."

"(to Dr. Nefario) Cookie robots! I said cookie robots! Ah, why... why are you so old?"

"Ok, my turn."

"[to Gru] I'm applying for a new villain loan, go by the name of... Vector! [no response] That's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, composed of both direction and magnitude! [no response] Vector! That's me! Because I'm committing crimes, with both direction and magnitude! OH YEAH!"

"[to Gru] Check out my new weapon! Piranha gun! Oh yes! Fires live piranhas. Have you ever seen one before? No! That's because I invented it."

"[after shrinking his toilet to amuse himself] Aw, look at you, a little tiny toilet. [mumbling in baby-talk] For a little, tiny baby people toi— [toilet flies off pipe, resulting in it spraying water in his face] AAAAAH! CURSE YOU, TINY TOILET!"

"These aren’t pyjamas. It’s a warm-up suit."

"When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this would be more like Annie."

"[referring to the pancake that Gru baked for her] Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy!"

"[Gru is applying for a loan] Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back… [viciously crushes the apple] Get the picture? [Gru gulps nervously]"

"It's Over. Goodbye, Gru."

"Aah! Oh my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He is so fluffy, I'm going to die!"

"It's so fluffy!"

"He's gonna kick your butt!"

"Does this count as annoying? [pats her face rapidly] [Gru: Very!]"

"Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us!"

"Sergio’s character was gothic, although he had the trappings of other things; he sort of looked like Dracula and he had these big, hulking, ogre-like henchmen. As a departure from the original pitch, we sort of went into the world of James Bond, thinking of characters like Goldfinger and obviously the Bond-ian world of technology."

"Superbad. Superdad."

"Being good is so overrated."

"Some call him bad; they call him dad. (British tagline)"

"Who is afraid of the Big Bad Gru? (French tagline)"

"Just because he is a bad guy, does not mean he's a bad guy."

"From Chris Meledandri, executive producer of Ice Age, Ice Age 2 and Horton Hears a Who."

"What if the world's greatest super-villain, was also your dad?"

"His gadgets, despicable... his tiny army, despicable... his new family, not despicable."

"It's hard to balance work and family, but this summer, one dad will give it his best shot."

"Steve Carell - Gru"

"Jason Segel - Vector"

"Russell Brand - Dr. Nefario"

"Julie Andrews - Marlena Gru (credited as "Gru's Mom")"

"Will Arnett - Mr. Perkins"

"Kristen Wiig - Ms. Hattie"

"Miranda Cosgrove - Margo"

"Dana Gaier - Edith"

"Elsie Fisher - Agnes"

"Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud, and Jemaine Clement - The Minions"

"Jack McBrayer - Justin's Dad, Carnival Barker"

"Ken Jeong - Talk Show Host"

"Danny McBride - Fred McDade"

"Mindy Kaling - Justin's Mom"

"Rob Huebel - Anchorman, Newscaster"

"Ken Daurio - Egyptian Guard"

"Frank Welker - Kyle (uncredited)"