Creepshow

"Heh-heh!! Greetings, kiddies, and welcome to the first issue of Creepshow, the magazine that dares to answer the question, "Who goes there?""

"Now that's what I call a twist ending, eh, kiddies? Nate did all the twisting and Sylvia ended... poor old girl just lost her head and went all to pieces... but the worst part came when old Nate blew out Cass and Richard's candles... heh-heh... poof!! But why hang around here while my next terror tale awaits?"

"Heh-heh! Hello again, kiddies... my last story was so grim it even frightened me! So I decided to head for the hills... you know, the other side of the mountain whereas the grass is always greener... heh-heh... which brings to mind another tale..."

"Hear that, kiddies? Rain tonight, heh-heh! I guess that old Verrill luck is in again, eh? You can decide for yourself if Jordy finally had a bit of good luck when he managed to pull that trigger! But don't think too long, kiddies... our next yell yarn awaits..."

"Heh-heh! Hello again, kiddies! My last story was so grueling, I thought I'd take a vacation... a little trip to the seashore! Of course, this reminds me of yet another awful anecdote... but the tide's coming in so I'd better get started! I call this one..."

"Heh-heh! Looks like Richard got himself in over his head, eh, kiddies? No? Well, it'll be over his head soon enough, heh-heh! And listen to him laugh! It's enough to drive you crazy! Of course, I've been crazy for years, so it doesn't really bother me... Ready for some more putrid prose, kiddies? Hee-hee..."

"Heh-heh! Welcome, kiddies! I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a bit edgy! Maybe I'm still feeling the effects of our last story... or maybe it's just because I haven't been out in a long time! That's it! I've got that boxed-in feeling, heh-heh! Which reminds me of another tale in my lurid lexicon! A little fear fable called..."

"Heh-heh! Well, I guess Wilma got what was coming to her, eh, kiddies? But, such manners! Not so much as a thank you... the only word to describe Wilma now is... are you ready, kiddies... incrate!! Heh-heh!"

"Heh-heh! Well, kiddies, it seems you've caught me moonlighting! Let me tell you, this job is enough to drive ya bugs! The li'l suckers hide everywhere! Take it from me, kiddies, you've gotta stay alert, because..."

"So that's where the bugs went! Looks like old Mr. Pratt was right after all, eh, kiddies? Those little suckers can hide anywhere, heh-heh! Well, that's our last yell-yarn for this time, and until we get together for another foul feast, I'll leave you with these famous words from the classic film "Casablechha"... as ole Boogey said to Ingrid Barrghman, "Here's looking at you, kiddies..." heh-heh-heh..."

"You're all a bunch of dirty vultures just waiting to get your hands on my money!"

"Where's my cake? I want my cake!"

"Where's my cake, Bedelia? Where's my Father's Day cake? I want my cake, you dirty bitch! I'm going to have it!"

"Bedelia! It's Father's Day! Where's my cake? You promised me my cake!!"

"Bedelia! I'm your father, and you're supposed to be taking care of me!!"

"Bedelia! YOU BITCH!! What do you think I got you here for?! You're just like all the others! You're nothing but a bunch of vultures!"

"Bedelia! I want my cake! BEDELIA!!! Where's my Father's Day cake?!"

"Where's my cake? I want it! It's mine!"

"I WANT MY CAKE!"

"It's Father's Day, and I got my cake. Happy Father's Day!!"

"That's a meteor! I'd be deep in mud if that ain't a meteor!"

"I wonder how much they'd pay for it up to college?"

"Oh, Jordy Verrill, you've done it now… you lunkhead!!"

"Meteor filth!!"

"Bastards! Damn bugs. I'll get them bugs! I own this damn building. There's not going to be any more damn bugs! Heads are going to roll. I promise you that! Oh, yes!"

"Meteorologist on TV: And in today's weather... well, not much for the outdoor types, but you farmers are going to love this. The current 30-day forecast released by the U.S. meteorological station in Portland calls for moderating temperatures and lots of rain. Castle County is going to turn green so fast in the next month that it's going to be almost miraculous."

"Jordy Verrill's Banker: $200 for a broken meteor?!! You must be joking, Mr. Verrill! I wouldn't even give you two cents!!"

"Jordy Verrill's Doctor: I'm sorry, Mr. Verrill, but… those fingers have got to come off. This is going to be extremely painful, Mr. Verrill!"

"Mrs. Danvers: Shall I glaze the ham now, ma'am?"

"Jordy Verrill's Father: You ain't gonna get in that tub, are ya? It's the water that it wants! Don't ya know that? You get in that water, Jordy, and you might as well sign your death warrant!"