Constantine (film)

"[Whispering into the ear of a possessed girl] This is Constantine. John Constantine, asshole."

"[Traps a spider under a cigarette-smoke filled glass] Welcome to my life."

"Impossible rules, endless regulations. Who goes up, who goes down? And why?"

"He always had a rotten sense of humor. And His punchlines are killers."

"Angels and demons can't cross over into our plane. So instead we get what I call "half-breeds". The influence peddlers. They can only whisper in our ears. A single word can give you courage, or turn your favorite pleasure into your worst nightmare. Those with the demon's touch and those part angel, living alongside us. They call it The Balance. I call it hypocritical bullshit."

"Heaven and hell are right here, behind every wall, every window, the world behind the world. And we're smack in the middle."

"[Flips off demon] For your boss."

"You don't need His protection. It'll be like back in the day."

"[As Midnite holds him up against a wall] Is this neutral? Bullshit! You're the only one playing by the rules, Midnite. And while you've been imitating Switzerland, people are dying. [Midnite lets him slump to the ground] Two hundred dollar shirt, by the way."

"[Speaking to God] I know I'm not one of Your favorites, and I'm not welcome in Your house, but I could use a little attention, please."

"[Voice over] I guess there's a plan for all of us. I had to die—twice—just to figure that out. Like the book says, He works in mysterious ways. Some people like it… some people don't."

"I always denied I could see."

"When my sister and I were little, we'd leave messages with light and breath."

"So what do you want? An extension?"

"No. You will live, John Constantine. You will live. You will have the chance to prove that your soul truly belongs in hell. Oh, you will live. You will live…"

"Balthazar: Word is… you're on your way down. Fresh meat. [puts fingers in his mouth, hisses, and leans forward] Finger lickin' good."

"Balthazar: [after being sprayed with Dragon's Breath] Fire? I was born of this!"

"Balthazar: [as he chokes John to death] Don't fight it, Johnny boy, enjoy it."

"Beeman: [his last lines] I know you never had much faith, John, you never had much reason to. But that doesn't mean we never had any faith… in you."

"Chaz Kramer: This is Kramer. Chas Kramer. Asshole."

"Chaz Kramer: [to midnite's knocked-out bouncer] Who's the rat in a dress now, bitch?"

"Chaz Kramer: [last words] You're right, John. It's not like in the books."

"Father Hennessy: Hey, John, I think I found you one."

"Midnite: [after learning of Constantine's cancer] I thought I heard thunder last night. Must have been Satan's stomach growling."

"Midnite: [shouts] You know the rules of my house! [normal voice] While here, you will abide by them."

"Midnite: [laughing, to John, regarding Chaz] Take him, John. Kill him after."

"Possessed Girl: Papatayin natin siya."

"Hell wants him. Heaven won't take him. Earth needs him."

"The wager between heaven and hell is on Earth."

"Keanu Reeves – Jonny Constantine"

"Rachel Weisz – Angela Dodson/Isabel Dodson/Mammon"

"Shia LaBeouf – Chaz Kramer"

"Djimon Hounsou – Midnite"

"Max Baker – Beeman"

"Pruitt Taylor Vince – Father Hennessy"

"Gavin Rossdale – Balthazar"

"Tilda Swinton – Gabriel"

"Peter Stormare – Lucifer"