All That Jazz (film)

"[repeated line] It's showtime, folks!"

"Sometimes, I don't know where the bullshit ends and the truth begins."

"[to Audrey] If I die, I'm sorry for all the bad things I did to you. [to Katie] And if I live, I'm sorry for all the bad things I'm gonna do to you."

"Do you suppose Stanley Kubrick ever gets depressed?"

"Stop smiling! Lay back! Lay back! Hold it, hold it, hold it. Candy, Casey, very good. You're gonna do it again, Victoria. Gary, Danny, let's go. Stop smiling, it's not the high school play. Count! Hold it. [to Victoria] Stand on your right foot. Point your left toe. Drop the shoulder. Now, that's not too hard, is it? Again!"

"The pain is gone. I'm OK. Nothing wrong with me a rewrite of the show wouldn't cure. A couple of good jokes is what I need."

""[to God, during the "hospital escape" scene]" What's the matter, don't you like musical comedy?"

"[last lines, Joe is dying] Hey, at least I won't have to lie to you anymore."

"Folks! What can I tell you about my next guest? This cat allowed himself to be adored, but not loved. And his success in show business was matched by failure in his personal relationship bag, now — that's where he really bombed. And he came to believe that work, show business, love, his whole life, even himself and all that jazz, was bullshit. He became numero uno game player — uh, to the point where he didn't know where the games ended and the reality began. Like, for this cat, the only reality — is death, man. Ladies and gentlemen, let me lay on you a so-so entertainer, not much of a humanitarian, and this cat was never nobody's friend. In his final appearance on the great stage of life — uh, you can applaud if you wanna — Mr. Joe Gideon!"

"[singing] Give it to me! Bye bye life, Bye bye happiness, hello loneliness, I think he's gonna die. Bye bye life, Bye bye happiness, Hello emptiness, I think he's gonna die. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Goodbye your life, goodbye."

"Audrey Paris: You see, Sammy, in California everybody needs a car. I got a friend who bought a Mercedes just to get to the bathroom."

"Davis Newman: This chick, man, without the benefit of dying herself, has broken down the process of death into five stages: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Sounds like a Jewish law firm. "Good morning, Angerdenialbargainingdepressionacceptance!""

"Davis Newman: There's all this bullshit about death with dignity. You know what death with dignity is, man? You don't drool."

"All that work. All that glitter. All that pain. All that love. All that crazy rhythm. All that jazz."

"Roy Scheider - Joe Gideon"

"Jessica Lange - Angelique"

"Leland Palmer - Audrey Paris"

"Ann Reinking - Kate Jagger"

"Cliff Gorman - David Newman"

"Ben Vereen - O'Connor Flood"

"Erzsebet Foldi - Michelle Gideon"

"Michael Tokan - Dr. Ballinger"

"Max Wright - Joshua Penn"

"William LeMassena - Jonesy Hecht"

"Deborah Geffner - Victoria Porter"

"John Lithgow - Lucas Sergeant"

"Jules Fisher - Jules"

"Chris Chase - Leslie Perry, film critic"

"Anthony Holland - Paul"

"Sandahl Bergman, Eileen Casey, Bruce Anthony Davis, Gary Flannery, Jennifer Nairn-Smith, Danny Ruvolo, Leland Schwantes, John Sowinski, Candace Tovar, and Rima Vetter - Principal dancers"

"Ben Masters - Dr. Garry"

"Robert Levine as Dr. Hyman"

"C. C. H. Pounder - Nurse Blake"

"Wallace Shawn - Assistant insurance man"

"Michael Hinton (uncredited) - band drummer"