"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and s…"

"We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you."

"So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exc…"

"If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't want to call you."

"People who get married are not to be trusted. You know why? Because if you were legitimately happy, honestly you woul…"

"I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so …"

"What if you meet the love of your life, but you already married somebody else, are you supposed to let them pass you by?"

"I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you're gonna marry me."

"Ben Affleck - Neil"

"John Ross Bowie - Dan the Wiccan"