"[to Marianne] We've had nine classes together since Kindergarten...ten if you count Religion of Other Cultures, which…"

"[to Brandon as she removes her panties] Relax. Jesus. What is with you gays? Are you really that repulsed by lady par…"

"That's the one thing that trumps religion...capitalism."

"Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my win…"

"[On webcam] And here you all are. Waiting for me outside the bedroom door for me to kiss Todd. Listening to me preten…"

"[on webcam, about Todd] I might even lose my virginity to him. I don't know when it will happen. You know, maybe in f…"

"[to Olive] You've made your bed...I just hope for your sake, you've cleaned the sheets."

"Jesus tells us to love everyone, even the whores and the homosexuals. But it's so hard, it's so hard because they kee…"

"Principal Gibbons: This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus."

"[voiceover] The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. I used to be anonymous, invisible to the oppo…"