People From Bristol

"As far as I can tell, the only thing worth looking at in most museums of art is all the schoolgirls on day trips with the art department."

"Oh my god, that's so cute the way you just draw on stuff and think about yourself all the time."

"An illegal monument to the British talent for binge drinking and vandalising public property."

"Recipe idea: take on fire extinguisher and pour out all the contents. Mix down a nice bright emulsion paint to the consistency of full fat milk, stirring constantly to remove any lumps. Pour into the extinguisher, screw on cap tightly and write on things up to 50 feet high. Re-use by swapping over the CO2 charged canister (costs about one pound). The perfect accompaniment to a night out drinking heavily with friends."

"Some mothers will do anything for their children, except let them be themselves."

"Why would someone just paint pictures of a revolutionary when you could actually behave like one instead?"

"People seem to think that if they dress like a revolutionary, they don't actually have to behave like one."

"I think I was trying to make a statement about the endless recycling of an icon by endlessly recycling an icon."

"It's going to take one very special lady, or a whole load of average ones, to get over you."

"There's a famous story about a hobo who hitch-hiked the freight trains across the Australian outback many years ago. He marked his trips by writing the word 'Eternity' everywhere he could in elaborate chalk handwriting. He wrote on so many train cars, bridges and pavements that all across Australia he became part of urban folklore. In 1999 Sydney led the world celebrations for the arrival of a new millennium, and as the eyes of the world watch a spectacular firework display lit up the harbour, at its very center, spanning the length of its famous bridge was the word 'Eternity', spelt out in that same elaborate script by a thousand tiny lights. Fucking sell out." [lightly edited for grammar]"

"When graffiti first started it was about getting noticed. But with inflation 'getting noticed' is worth almost nothing these days. Now you have to be a genuine nuisance if you want to get along."

"Mindless vandalism can take a bit of thought."

"The problem with painting in Zoos is that it's slightly too effective. They tend to get rid of it as soon as possible. I'd had enough when the rope ladder into the Chimpanzee enclosure at the Sydney Zoo snapped and I fell into the moat getting a mouthful of monkey piss. By 10am the next morning the words 'Please help me get out of here I am the victim of a cruel scientific experiment... I am not a monkey... Somebody do something' had been completely painted over. The solution was to write stuff on cardboard and throw it into the enclosures when no one was looking. Then you just sit back and listen to the explanation parents give as their kids ask 'Why don't we just let them go home if they want to, mummy?'"

"Suicide bombers just need a hug."

"My sister threw away loads of my drawings when I was a kid and when I asked her where they were she shrugged and said 'Well it's not like they're ever gonna be hanging in the Louvre, is it?'"

"In a recent survey of American men 42% were found to overeat, 34% were critically overweight, 10% technically obese, and 8% ate the survey."

"[Description of a stuffed mouse dressed as a graffiti artist that Banksy snuck into the London Museum as an exhibit:] "The Banksus Militius is a virulent pest that marks its territory with a series of elaborate signs. Professor R Langford of University College of London states, 'Laugh now but one day they may well be in charge'.""

"I'd been painting rats for three years before someone said 'that's a clever anagram of art' and I had to pretend I'd known that all along."

"People say painting graffiti doesn't change anything, but the GLA committee found that 'house prices can drop by as much as 10% in badly affected areas' so it's worth bearing in mind if you want to get on the property ladder."

"DANGER / CONTAMINATED AREA / RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL" [Fake sign glued into St. James' Park, next to Buckingham Palace, 2004. Became an unlikely collaboration with the Metropolitan Police who made it look far more realistic by stationing a community support officer on the bridge nearby telling people not to be alarmed. Lasted 22 hours.]"

"As soon as you meet someone you know the reason you will leave them."

"Love Poem / Beyond watching eyes / With sweet and tender kisses / Our souls reached out to each other / In breathless wonder // And when I awoke / From a vast and smiling peace / I found you bathed in morning light / Quietly studying / All the messages on my phone"

"Fight the fighters, not their wars."

"When the time comes to leave, just walk away quietly and don't make any fuss."

"Bloodthirsty people should bite their tongues."

""People who enjoy waving flags don't deserve to have one." [sic]"

"The human race is an unfair and stupid competition. A lot of runners don't even get decent sneakers or clean drinking water. Some runners are born with a massive head start, every possible help along the way and still the referees seem to be on their side. It's not surprising a lot of people have given up competing altogether and gone to sit in the grandstand, eat junk food and shout abuse. What we need in this race is a lot more streakers."

"[Letter received to the Banksy website:] "I don't know who you are or how many of you there are but i am writing to ask you to stop painting your things where we live. In particular XXXXXX road in Hackney. My brother and me were born here and have lived here all our lives but these days so many yuppies and students are moving here neither of us can afford to buy a house where we grew up anymore. Your graffities are undoubtably part of what makes these wankers think our area is cool. You're obviously not from round here and after you've driven up the house prices you'll probably just move on. Do us all a favour and go do your stuff somewhere else like Brixton. -daniel" [sic; name and address not withheld]"

"The anger management is not working."

""If you only ever read one book in your life I highly recommend... keeping your f***ing mouth shut." [sic]"

"People are taking the piss out of you every day. They butt into your life, take a cheap shot at you and then disappear. They leer at you from tall buildings and make you feel small. They make flippant comments from buses that imply you’re not sexy enough and that all the fun is happening somewhere else. They are on TV making your girlfriend feel inadequate. They have access to the most sophisticated technology the world has ever seen and they bully you with it. They are The Advertisers and they are laughing at you. You, however, are forbidden to touch them. Trademarks, intellectual property rights and copyright law mean advertisers can say what they like wherever they like with total impunity. Fuck that. Any advert in a public space that gives you no choice whether you see it or not is yours. It’s yours to take, re-arrange and re-use. You can do whatever you like with it. Asking for permission is like asking to keep a rock someone just threw at your head. You owe the companies nothing. Less than nothing, you especially don't owe them any courtesy. They owe you. They have re-arranged the world to put themselves in front of you. They never asked for your permission, don't even start asking for theirs."

"Graffiti is like boxing. The people who do it 'professionally' tend to go round in circles pulling the same old moves all the time. The real entertainment takes place on Amateur's night. That's when you get to watch the bitter and twisted unleash all their pent-up frustrations on an unsuspecting public in a desperate attempt to make some kind of point before collapsing under a cloud of their own blooded spit."

"Remember crime against property is not real crime. People look at an oil painting and admire the use of brushstrokes to convey meaning. People look at a graffiti painting and admire the use of a drainpipe to gain access."

"A lot of people never use their initiative because nobody told them to."

"I like to think I have the guts to stand up anonymously in a western democracy and call for things no-one else believes in—like peace and justice and freedom."

"You can win the rat race but you're still a rat."

"After sticking up the picture I took five minutes to watch what happened next. A sea of people walked up, stared and left looking confused and slightly cheated. I felt like a true modern artist."

""The greatest crimes in the world are not committed by people breaking the rules. It's people who follow orders that drop bombs and massacre villages. As a precaution to ever committing major acts of evil it is our solemn duty never to do what we're told, this is the only way we can be sure." (p. 51)"

"Nobody ever listened to me until they didn't know who I was."

"'There's no way you're going to get a quote from us to use on your book cover.' — Metropolitan Police Spokesperson"

"Try to avoid painting in places where they still point at aeroplanes."

"Conversations don't get any better as you get older."

"People who get up early in the morning cause war, death and famine."

"People say graffiti is ugly, irresponsible and childish. But that's only if it's done properly."

"T.V. has made going to the theatre seem pointless, photography has pretty much killed painting but graffiti has remained gloriously unspoilt by progress."

"I sucked a lot of breasts to get where I am today."

"I got home at last and crawled into bed next to my girlfriend. I told her I'd had an epiphany that night [about using stencils] and she told me to stop taking that drug 'cos it's bad for your heart."

"Become good at cheating and you never need to become good at anything else."

"The Art we look at is made by only a select few. A small group create, promote, purchase, exhibit and decide the success of Art. Only a few hundred people in the world have any real say. When you go to an Art gallery you are simply a tourist looking at the trophy cabinet of a few millionaires..."

"Art is not like other culture because its success is not made by its audience. The public fill concert halls and cinemas everyday, we read novels by the millions, and buy records by the billions. 'We the people' affect the making and quality of most of our culture, but not our art."