Journalists From The United States

"This person has done at least two (2) things that would be classified as "unforgivable.""

"If you meet someone who has the same first name as this person, you immediately like them less."

"Every time you talk to this person, you lie."

"If your archenemy tried to kill you, this person would attempt to stop him."

"People who barely know the two of you assume you are close friends; people who know both of you intimately suspect you profoundly hate each other."

"If invited, you would go to this person's wedding and give them a spice rack, but you would secretly hope that their marriage ends in a bitter, public divorce."

"You have punched this person in the face."

"You and this person once competed for the same woman, and you both failed."

"At some point in the past, this person was (arguably) your best friend."

"The Joker was Batman's nemesis, but-ironically-his archenemy was Superman, since Superman made Batman entirely mortal and generally nonessential. Nobody likes to admit this, but Batman fucking hated Superman; Superman is the reason Batman became an alcoholic."

"We all concede that 'they' rule 'us'. But here is the secret shame of that amorphous entity that makes us all cower in shame: 'they' are losers. 'They' are failures. 'They' don't realize that life is-almost without exception-an absolute meritocracy, and everyone who succeeds completely deserves it. (The exceptions being Dale Peck, MTV on-air personalities who aren't Kurt Loder, Al Franken, and myself)"

"If rain was God crying, I think God was drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus."

"We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven't even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you'll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there's still one more tier to all this; there is always one person who you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real--but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they're often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."

"Seeing no resolution to my existential recognition of loss, I decide to eat lunch."

"In fact, there may be a day in the near future when you find yourself in a conversation about this book, and someone will ask you what the story is really about, beyond the rudimentary narrative of a cross-country death trip based on a magazine article. And it's very likely you will say, "well, the larger thesis is somewhat underdeveloped, but there is this point early in the story where he takes a woman to Ithaca for no real reason, and it initially seems innocuous, but - as you keep reading - you sort of see how this behaviour is a self-perpetuating problem that keeps reappearing over and over again." In all probability, you will also complain about the author's reliance on self-indulgent, postmodern self-awareness, which will prompt the person you're conversing with to criticize the influence of Dave Eggers on the memoir-writing genre. Then your cell phone will ring, and you will agree to meet someone for brunch."

"But the bottom line is that I am still willing to die a painful public death, assuming my execution destroys the game of soccer (or - at the very least - convinces people to shut up about it)."

"Important things are inevitably cliché."

"This SimChuck is one suave bastard."

"Were there really this many women in 1985 saying to their husbands, "Gee, honey, I'd love to have random strangers masturbate to a jpeg image of me deepthroating a titanium dildo, but there's no medium for that. Guess we'll have to watch 'Falcon Crest.'"

"Whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to experience the kind of mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationship they perceive to be a normal part of living. And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I'm going to blame John Cusack."

"This is the kind of shit that would prompt Tyler Durden to hit somebody in the face."

"Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living."

"Psychologically, the internet is very marxist. Everyone with a modem has access to the same information, so we all get jammed into a technological middle class."

"[Coldplay is] a British pop group whose success derives from their ability to write melodramatic alt-rock songs about fake love. It does not matter that Coldplay is the shittiest fucking band I've ever heard in my entire fucking life, or that they sound like a mediocre photocopy of Travis (who sounds like a mediocre photocopy of Radiohead), or that their greatest fucking artistic achievement is a video where the blandly attractive frontman walks on a beach on a cloudy afternoon. None of that matters. What matters is that Coldplay manufactures fake love as frenetically as the Ford fucking Motor Company manufactures Mustangs. . . "For you I bleed myself dry," sang the blockhead vocalist, brilliantly informing us that stars in the sky are, in fact, yellow."

"The noble simplicity of sentiment in McCain’s tweets is a world removed from Trump’s gaudy and boastful displays. And McCain’s demonstration of character and courage is a far more reliable guide to American greatness than the pronouncements of a president who speaks of it nonstop and embodies it not at all."

"Justin Raimondo, Our Hijacked Foreign Policy - Neoconservatives take Washington – Baghdad is next, Antiwar, March 25, 2002"

"For years, Kristol and his gang have been clamoring for war not only with Iraq, but with the entire Arab Middle East. Now, in the wake of 9/11, they have seized their chance, and are taking the offensive: Kristol and a coterie of his fellow neocons recently signed an open letter to the President calling for the military occupation of not only Iraq, but also Syria, Iran, and much of the rest of the Middle East."

"Kristol and his fellow neo-imperialists have never seen a war they didn't support, even going so far as threatening to abandon the Republicans, during the Clinton era, if they didn't get squarely behind Clinton's rape of Serbia. Kristol called for "cracking Serb skulls" long before the Great Pantsdropper decided, three years ago today [March 24], to drop bombs on Belgrade."

"The New York Times columnist, on the air: “I think Hillary Clinton was gracious, has put behind her the horrible sexism and misogyny the Democratic primary voters demonstrated, which I‘m appalled by, personally. Never would have happened in the Republican party.” Mr. Kristol is ignoring the public commentary by a prominent Republican on Fixed News on February 3rd of this year, who said the only people supporting Senator Clinton's bid for the presidency were, quote, “the Democratic establishment and white women.” Then this Republican added, quote, “white women are a problem. That‘s—you know, we all live with that.” Which Republican's horrible sexism did Bill Kristol forget? His own. All that was said by William Kristol, today's worst person in the world."

"Our winner [of BEST Persons], the one and only William Kristol, still of The New York Times. His latest gem, after the Supreme Court struck down the Military Commissions Act and restored the Writ of Habeus Corpus to even the detainees at Gitmo: "The decision was wrong and our fears about the Administration's attack on the great writ are overblown, because American citizens have a right to Habeus Corpus, and anyone arrested in this country has a right to Habeus Corpus." Sadly, no! That's the problem! The Military Commissions Act specifically said there was to be no Habeus Corpus for non-citizens, even if they were arrested in this country. More importantly, Bill, if, under the Act, or whatever monstrosity McCain is backing to replace the Act, if they arrested you, William Kristol, and declared you a non-citizen and an enemy combatant, and you say, "But I was born in New York City," exactly where do you think you'll be able to prove that and get yourself released? At a court hearing — a court hearing that would never happen because there would be no Habeus Corpus, because the government said you weren't born in New York City, and your response would never - even - be - heard."

"I have known Bill Kristol since the mid-’90s, when I worked for him. I had admired him even before that, when he was a pup in the Reagan administration. He is his own man, come hell or high water. If I were president — LOL — I’d hang the Medal of Freedom around Bill’s neck."

"Have you ever met a war you didn't love?"

"Almost every Afghan refugee will turn out to be so much better an American than Charlie Kirk."

"Isn't conservatism in part about resisting so-called new realities when you sense they might be questionable, even as people lecture you that you’ve got to get with the times?"

"Trump is the proximate, the efficient, cause of the collapse of the conservative movement. The principles of sound conservatism compel us to criticize him, to rebut him, to resist him, and to plan to overcome him."

"[T]here seem to be more CRIMINALS in the Trump Administration than in the Caravan."

"Hasn't America really always been, at least since the middle of the 19th century, a majority-minority country? Lincoln, July 10, 1858: "We have besides these men—descended by blood from our ancestors—among us perhaps half our people who are not descendants at all of these men...""

"Younger people actually understand how it works. They don't just take what they are fed according to their preferences; they go look at other things. So I've always been more anti-baby boomer and more pro-millennial."

"No disease any refugee might bring to America is as dangerous as the disease of fear, bigotry and hatred now being spread in America by Fox."

"The rhetorical extremism, the winking at violence, the reveling in vulgarity, and the embrace of amoralism are not bugs but features of Trumpism. Intellectual and moral coarsening is both a condition and a consequence of the demagogue's success. Trumpism really does corrupt."

"I’d rather fight than switch. It’s worth fighting."

"The town hall has the spirit of representative democracy, the rally of autocracy."

"[I]nstitutions are strong; it turns out you don't need a lot of sensible or even sane leadership in the White House."

"Winners have standards."

"We're to blame for the "bad blood." Not Putin. The real meaning of America First is Blame America First."

"So WE are to blame for the "bad blood" with Russia. Not what Putin has done in Ukraine, in Syria, in the UK, at home, or with respect to our elections. Amazing."

"[T]he Islamic world is a source of danger and destruction is all too conceivable. Indeed, it’s been on display, in plain sight, for years... The jihadist threat is real, and it must, obviously, be fought and defeated. But that raises another problem—not a problem with Islam, but a problem with the West. We have lost our nerve. In recent years, the attitude of Barack Obama has prevailed over the spirit of Charlie Hebdo. The claims of sensitivity have trumped the attachment to freedom. Appeasement of jihad has supplanted the war on terror. Most fundamentally—let’s be honest—fear has overwhelmed courage. And so the American president has been happy to proclaim, as he did at the United Nations in September 2012, “The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.” He has been less willing to say that the future must not belong to those who kill in the name of the prophet of Islam... We face a crisis of Islam. We need to be clear-eyed about that. But we also face a crisis of the West. Only if we come to grips with that second crisis will this period of consequences turn out to be an occasion for renewal rather than another marker on the path to decadence."

"Donald Trump is an embarrassment. It would be better for the country if he were president for at most one term."

"The present moment is not one to be proud of. The normal vulgarity of democratic politics has become the shameless demagoguery of democratic decadence. The routine operation of party politics has given way to the mindless polarization of partisan fanatics. The characteristic limitations of popular leaders have yielded to an abdication of leadership itself. A public life with occasional cringeworthy moments has been replaced by one that is on the whole cringeworthy."

"The Obama years have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. Severely wanting. By the end of Obama's presidency, the U.S. standing in the world was weaker—clearly and appreciably weaker—than when he became president. The force of American power was diminished, and freedom was in retreat. By the end of Obama's presidency, was there a single part of the world where the United States was in a stronger position than when he took office? Was there an ally who was more confident or an adversary who was less so? By the end of Obama's presidency, were any important countries either friendlier or freer than they had been when he took over? The answer to all these questions: no."