"Act like a jackass, if you have the nerve. Drink up the water, get what you deserve. Be wicked, be naughty, come drink from my fountain. Then I will be rich, King of the Mountain!"

"(To Volpe and Felinet) I will kill you if you don't bring me that puppet."

"Stand by for fireworks. (Munches chili peppers)"

"I see gold out there...little pieces of gold!"

"(To Pinocchio, after he has destroyed Lorenzini's theatre) Come here, you little... (Gets struck by fire) Ah!!"

"(To Geppetto) I am making my grandest production ever, and I am going to purchase... Your newest creation. Whatever it may be. Heh."

"(On Pinocchio asking what is a family) My goodness...such a heart-breaking question! One no one should ever have to ask. Pinocchio...I can give you a life, other little boys only dream of."

"Felinet. Looking for employment?"

"The honour is mine to call again, my good man."

"Listen closely. Next week's puppet show must be the most spectacular ever. Every single child must be in attendance."

"(To Leona) In this case, this is why you should have never married my brother! Because you should have married me! The day I carved that heart in the tree, you accepted my brother's proposal!"

"Leona, please don't tell me about the forest - I've been coming out here for years with my brother Enzio - may he rest in peace - since I was a little boy!"

"(Whilst chasing the puppet throughout the town) Ooh, ooh - Come down right now! What are you doing?! Come down this instant young - man! Come down here! I'm not going to go chasing after you!"

"No, no, I'm not your Papa!"

"(On Pinocchio) Tino, am I going crazy?! I have no idea how this happened! They're gonna burn me at the stake!"

"I carve this heart for dear Leona, while in this peaceful meadow. With dreams of hope, my love endures. Forever yours...Geppetto."

"We can't all be called Pinocchio."

"When the heart is full, and the heavens are listening...magic...is bound to happen"

"Allow me to introduce myself! The name is: Pugnacio Eleguzio P. Elegante! Give me a P., and give me an E., give me a P., and another E.: Put them all together and call me...Pepe!"

"(Regarding Pinocchio's dilemma concerning Geppetto) The human dilemma. Or is it, the puppet dilemma? You've still got cake on your face. Say, you always squash someone before you're properly introduced?"

"No pain, no gain!"

"Peter Bowles - Ron"

"Antonioni's camera never flinches. At love without meaning. At murder without guilt. At the dazzle and madness of youth today."

"Sometimes reality is the strangest fantasy of all."

"Jeff Beck - Himself"

"Tsai Chin - Thomas's receptionist"