"Terri Bratley: [after noticing officer Lou Bratley watching her from the other side of the street] I see you, Lou! Don't you think I can't see what you're doing, Lou! Can't you see I just don't fucking love you anymore!"

"Mrs. Johnson: [repeated line to everyone] I just thought you should know that, in no way whatsoever, do I blame you for Troy's death."

"Dean Stiffle: Can/Will somebody pick up THE GOD DAMN PHONE!"

"Dean Stiffle: I read this statistic once, that the average kid sees something like 10,000 dead bodies on TV before he turns 18."

"Various Teens: [repeated line] It's for school."

"Crystal Falls: Don't pretend you're someone you're not, because after a while you forget you were acting, and so will everyone else."

""Ricky Martin"? You named your kid "Ricky Martin"?"

"YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG FAMILY!!!"

"[after slashing a kidnapper's arm with a shard of glass] Tenth grade biology. Brachial artery... pumps 30 liters of blood a minute. There's only five in the human body. I'm sorry."

"[Talking on his cell phone] I'm tellin' ya, I'm sitting in it right now. It's a brand new Porsche Carrera. The partners gave it to me. Mm-Hm, sugar. Brand new, arctic blue convertible. It goes zero to 60 in 5.2 seconds. Takes the girls' panties down in 3.5 seconds. [Phone line gets suddenly disrupted by Jessica and Ryan] Hey, this is a private call. Get off my line! Mom, are you still there?"

"[trying to get his car out of the impound lot] Okay, fine... I'm getting out my checkbook. Who do I make it out to? "Lady Who Sucks?""

"[to shocked bystanders after beating up Dimitri] It's alright I'm a cop! That's a very bad man!"

"[Talking to the fake Jessica Martin] We had a report of a possible kidnapping. You haven't been kidnapped today, have you? [Chuckles]"

"[As he shoots someone for the first time in his entire career] 27 years. 27 years without this shit!"

"[seeing Ryan with a box of fliers to pass out] Ha ha - that sucks. [Ryan shoves the box at him] No way! This sucks more!"

"[greeting girls at the pier] Hey Chloe. Sam. Friend with nipples."

"[after he views the tape] I'm a dead man."

"[after stealing the lawyer's car] Oh, I am in deep trouble!"

"[after shooting the number taker in the store] Now who's gonna give me that goddamn charger?"

"Adventure, Comedy, Romance. He was full of it."

"Ray D. Tutto — The King of the Moon"

"Uma Thurman — Venus/Rose"

"Peter Jeffrey — Sultan"

"Bill Paterson — Henry Salt"

"Jonathan Pryce — The Right Ordinary Horatio Jackson"

"Valentina Cortese — Queen Ariadne/Violet"

"Jack Purvis — Jeremy/Gustavus"

"Winston Dennis — Bill/Albrecht"

"Charles McKeown — Rupert/Adolphus"

"Oliver Reed — Vulcan"

"Sarah Polley — Sally Salt"

"Eric Idle — Desmond/Berthold"

"John Neville — Hieronymus Karl Frederick Baron von Munchausen"

"From the director of "Time Bandits" and "Brazil" a new movie full of NOISE...FLYING OBJECTS...SEAFOOD...CELEBRITIES...COMPASSION...TRAVEL...HONOR...GRAVITY...BULL...he was full of it. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen."

"Bull. He was full of it."

"A true story. We've got the film to prove it."

"Remarkable. Unbelievable. Impossible. And true."

"The adults who should have been there to protect me were my parents, not you…[but] you can’t underestimate how in awe of you people like them can be. They didn’t want to be an annoyance or an inconvenience to anyone, and it must have been daunting to imagine holding up 100 people for your kid."

"The negative stories about the shoot that were turning up in the Hollywood press were coming, we found out later, from a source at Film Finances – which was the completion bond company on the film. Their lawyer was a guy named Steve Ransohoff, whose father was Martin Ransohoff – who was Ray Stark's friend and partner. [...] I thought it was quite extraordinary, because the stories were doing two things – they were making me and the whole project look like it was completely out of control and all my fault, and that Film Finance, the completion guarantors, were the only thing holding it together – the people trying to bring control to it... the fact was, they were absolutely useless."

"Berthold: Is there a doctor in the fish?"