"I can see we have to take this slowly. Mer... maid. Mermaid. Fabled marine creature, half-woman, half-fish, best known for sitting on rocks, staring into mirrors, and obsessively combing our long, beautiful hair. Blah, blah, blah."

"When you help a mermaid, you get a wish."

"He still chooses her over me? She's a FISH!"

"Hmm, I'm seeing a lot of blue in that purple."

"[after jumping off of the now-exploded lighthouse] Did everyone see that? Because I will not be doing it again."

"[to Angelica] I thought I should give you warning. We're taking the ship. It's nothing personal. [Leaves her cabin; Angelica shouts at Jack, in Spanish, "Sparrow, come back here or I will break your head!"; Jack closes her cabin door, locking it] I just think it would be best if you - [Sword comes through door] - stay out of it."

"[from Teaser Trailer] Hello, boys and girls, or whatever. My name is Captain Jack Sparrow. Ah, I take it some of you have heard of me. As you may well know, there are times... almost constantly, in fact, where I prefer to look at the world through the bottom of a glass. Rum. Something like this. [takes a shot of rum] You may have also heard whisperings and rumors that Jack Sparrow be recruiting a crew to undertake a voyage to the Fountain of Youth. Not true. Of course not. But even if it weren't not true, you wouldn't be interested in joining me, would you? Eh? No, thought not. I do admit that there'd be varied and substantial dangers along the way including, but not limited to, zombies, cutthroats, mermaids, and a vicious and vivacious Penélope Cruz. Which is why I'm not going. No sir. Impossible to find the place anyway. No one knows where it is. Plus, I'd have to have a bloody map. Or a Bloody Mary. Or both. Which is not a bad idea, in fact, a Bloody Mary. Bloody Marys all around! It's on the Mouse. Barman! [leaves]"

"[Standing on a cliff edge] You know that feeling you get when you're standing in a high place... sudden urge to jump?... I don't have it."

"[after being addressed as "Jack Sparrow"] There should be a "Captain" in there somewhere."

"(Posing as the judge) Now, what do we have here?(grins, to which Gibbs says "Jack?")"

"w:Óscar Jaenada - The Spaniard"

"Johnny Depp - Captain Jack Sparrow"

"Stephen Graham - Scrum"

"A Gentleman allows the woman to maintain her fiction"

"Richard Griffiths - King George II"

"Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey - Syrena"

"Greg Ellis - Lt. Cmdr. Theodore Groves"

"Penélope Cruz - Angelica"

"Ian McShane - Blackbeard"

"Live Forever Or Die Trying Source"

"(To Jack) If you jump, and die, then she will have her chance."

"Geoffrey Rush - Captain Hector Barbossa"

"[When Jack points his sword at her on instinct] How is it we can never meet without you pointing something at me?"

"You have a ridiculously high regard for fate, mate."

"The Black Pearl in a bottle. Why is the Black Pearl in a bottle?"

"Kevin McNally - Joshamee Gibbs"

"If I don't kill a man every now and then, they forget who I am."

"Keith Richards - Captain Teague"

"So you are guilty of being innocent of being Jack Sparrow?"

"You've stolen me. I'm 'ere to take meself back."

"Sam Claflin - Philip Swift"

"(To Syrena) Walk or die."

"Excuse me Mr. Nottingham. My name is Jill Hastings. I'm a teacher at Webster Elementary."

"Abigail Droeger as Young Wendy"

"Thomas Hoffman as Young Skeeter"

"Jonathan Loughran as Party Guest"

"That's my Prius."

"It's not that big, sir. It can fit into one spot."

"Arne Starr as Nottingham Employee/Senator/Cowboy/Spaceman (Uncredited)"

"Heather Morris as Cat Dancer"

"Blake Clark as Biker"

"Allen Covert as Ferarri Guy"