"It's beginning to look a lot like—bloodshed! Christmas is almost here, and a deranged, axe-wielding psycho is terrorizing a sorority. As it happens, the mad murder also makes obscene phone calls—and he lives right above the girls..."

"John Saxon – Lieutenant Kenneth Fuller"

"[Quietly singing] Little baby bunting/ Daddy's went a-hunting/ Gonna fetch a rabbit skin to wrap his baby Agnes in."

"Let me lick ya, you pretty piggy cunt!"

"I didn't send my daughter in here to be drinking and picking up the boys."

"[to Barb, while on the phone] I'll stick my tongue up your pretty pussy!"

"Twas the Night, Before Christmas, and All Trough the House, a Creature was stirring. The Stocklings were Hung by the Chimney with care, but it was Hard to Say that St. Nick would be there. A Christmas with another colour brings a Killer on the Loose."

"Agnes, It's me Billy! Don't tell them what we did!"

"Filthy Billy, I know what you did nasty Billy!"

"Have Yourself a Scary Little, Black Christmas. It's Not at All Like the Ones You Used to Know."

"He Knows When You're Sleeping, He Knows if You're Awake, HE KNOWS..."

"Olivia Hussey – Jess Bradford"

"Keir Dullea – Peter Smythe"

"Marian Waldman – Mrs.‘Mac’ MacHenry"

"[on phone] You're a real gold-plated whore, mother, you know that?"

"[singing as she packs her suitcase] Alligators come through the gate, but goodbye leg if ya get away late! Lollies love to pop!"

"[upon seeing that Mrs. MacHenry is coming inside the house] Speaking of professional virgins - here we have the queen of vaudeville herself!"

"Oh, why don't you go find a wall socket and stick your tongue in it? That'll give you a charge."

"These broads would hump the Leaning Tower of Pisa if they could get up there!"

"[to Barb, while on the phone] [sombre] I'm going to kill you."

"I think the little bugger's schnockered, son of a bitch."

"Andrea Martin – Phyllis ‘Phyll’ Carlson"

"Carly Pope as Tanya"

"John Lithgow as Bud Brumder"

"Harold Ramis as Don Durkett"

"Lily Tomlin as Charlotte Cobb, College counselor"

"Catherine O'Hara as Cindy Brumder"

"Schuyler Fisk as Ashley"

"Mike White as Mr. Burke, English teacher"

"Do you want me to get naked and start the revolution?"

"Colin Hanks as Shaun Brumder"

"Jack Black as Lance Brumder"

"Bret Harrison as Lonny"

"Sarah Hagan as Sarah"

"Leslie Mann as Krista"