Comedians From Ireland

"God made night But Man made darkness."

"On the Ning Nang NongWhen the cows go bong!"

"If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it."

"I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine."

"A lot of learning can be a little thing."

"Policemen are numbered in case they get lost."

"Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion."

"Are you going to come along quietly, or am I going to have to use ear plugs?"