"And a beer bong for the lady?"

"Dude, if you get the nachos stuck together, that's one nacho."

"I brought you some more videos. You got your choice: porn or monster trucks. And I got one that's both."

"Kyle Gass — Bar Guy"

"[arm wrestling with Wayne] You've got quite a grip. You must be a heavy masturbator. My guess is three times a day? I…"

"Tonight Mr. Chang gets lucky. Young lady, so horny, so impatient...Oh, scrotum!"

"There's no fight left in you boys. You're nutless. You been pussified."

"They swore nothing could come between them. Then she came along."

"From the director of "Big Daddy"."

"2 Best Friends + 1 Girlfriend = WAR"