"Life is too short to be miserable."

"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory."

"Normal is the average of deviance."

"About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you ca…"

"You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners."

"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."

"If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle."

"No animal on the face of the earth could conceive of taxation. You and I work roughly six months a year to pay our lo…"

"Divorce is the one human tragedy that reduces everything to cash."

"A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it's better than no inspiration at all."