"I'd hate for our fake vows at our fake wedding to not be from the heart."

"Diane Neal as Bonnie"

"Jason MacDonald as David"

"Steve Schirripa as Monkey"

"Rhoda Griffis as Val"

"I'm so looking forward to our divorce."

"[opening a moving box] Be the coffeemaker! Be the coffemaker!"

"We're holding a wedding, not a tailgate party, Vince."

"Girls love a guy that's been left at the altar. So I'll definitely be seeing some sympathy boom-chicka-wa-wa!"

"Wow. Talk about commitment issues. You're getting cold feet over our pretend wedding."