"I just said why can't I wear my cool hat and now I know why."

"I can barely taste the pig cum in this."

"Dick pain hurts."

"When the beast awakens, the monster arises."

"I've lived a life of danger. I've used my body to find my soul, broken, beaten, as I get old. Now buckle up and enjoy…"

"[He is strapped down in a chair] I'm trapped! [Johnny pours honey all over his head] And you're putting honey on me! …"

"Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass!"

"We have winners and we have Steve-O."

"[To Steve-O] You still got those million dollar teeth that's for sure. [Steve-O then removes his dentures to reveal a…"

"No, fuck you. I'll start a new life in here."