"Regina King - Sontee Jenkins"

"Mark Addy - Cisco"

"Eugene Levy - Keyes"

"Chris Rock - Lance Barton"

"I had a hard enough time trying to get this girl as a rich white man. Do you know how hard it's going to be to try to…"

"My father's so cheap... that when we went to bed, he'd unplug the alarm clocks. "You can't tell time when you are asl…"

"[after learning that he wasn't supposed to die] You killed me! You killed me! You killed me!"

"Tiger Woods, Y'all, Tiger Woods, Y'all! Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, Tiger Woods, Y'all!"

"From now on, we need to make a new slogan. If you get shot in the head, you get a bed. If you head is bloody, we're y…"

"Didn't your momma ever tell you to carry an extra handcuff key?"