"All right, all right! This is Junior Bruce, your buddy-buddy and mine. And I'll be giving you the blow-by-blow, play-…"

"Zany Janey, winner of this year's trials at Watkins Glen, placed second in 1998 and led in last year's second lap unt…"

"My children, whom I love so dearly, it has been my duty in the long and difficult years since the World Crash of '79 …"

"David Carradine as "Frankenstein""

"Simone Griffeth as Annie Smith (Frankenstein's navigator)"

"Sylvester Stallone as Joe "Machine Gun" Viterbo"

"Roberta Collins as Matilda "The Hun""

"Martin Kove as Ray "Nero the Hero" Lonagan"

"Louisa Moritz as Myra (Joe's navigator)"

"O great American multitude and sports fans everywhere. Today, we inaugurate the 20th Annual Trans-Continental Road Ra…"