"Umpire Billy Bowden is decked by a Jones sweep! How marvellous...I mean what a choker...A sweetly-timed shot by the E…"

"Having seen the replay, I think Steve Bucknor was right. I like Bucknor, in fact, he might be my only friend."

"Embarrassing cricket tales. When I was about 14, my school team played against a school called Langdon, somewhere or …"

"Hayden hits his fourth four of the over off the final ball, riding a dreamy steer through the covers. Boom boom boom …"

"Monty went beserk, like a toddler who's just been told he can't have a Happy Meal."

"Oof! McCullum kerplunks a fuller Sidebottom delivery for what looks a certain four until it smashes into Gillespie's,…"

"A well-deserved standing ovation from the Lord's faithful and what can you say about any Collingwood innings? Nuggety…"

"Vaughan is lurking in the dressing room gloom like some mad woman spying into her next door neighbours' garden."

"Hayden marches down the pitch towards Collymore, bat raised, as if he's just returned from the theatre to find him ri…"

"Bit of Toto as Hoffmann makes his way to the middle - "I bless the rains down in Africa!" - smashing. My favourite To…"