screenplays-by-jeff-nathanson

"The true story of the greatest movie never made."

"Matthew Broderick - Steven Schats"

"Alec Baldwin - Joe Devine"

"Toni Collette - Emily French"

"Tony Shalhoub - Tommy Sanz"

"Calista Flockhart - Valerie Weston"

"Tim Blake Nelson - Marshal Paris"

"Buck Henry - Lonnie Bosco"

"Ray Liotta - Jack Devine"

"Ian Gomez - Agent Nance"

"Glenn Morshower - Agent McCaffrey"

"James Rebhorn - Abe White"

"Russell Means - Himself"

"Pat Morita - Himself"

"Daniel Morton - Nicky's Son"

"Joan Cusack - Fanny Nash (uncredited)"

"Robert Evans - Himself (uncredited)"

"Judy Greer - Girl with Emily French at Movie Premiere (uncredited)"

"Eric Roberts - Himself (uncredited)"

"Shoshannah Stern - Steven's Girlfriend"

"Do you know who I am? Detective James Carter, LAPD. My family owns half of Crenshaw Boulevard."

"Lee, we almost killed your ass! Why you didn't move? I would like for you to meet our dates for tonight, Marsha and Zoe. Fat one's yours."

"Sorry, Lee. You can't be black. There's a height requirement."

"I'm coming, Soo-Yung! [Looks down from the Eiffel Tower] Oh, my God! What the hell am I doing up here?"

"I don't know what the hell you feeding him, but he is too damn big!"

"I'm about slice you up like a giant California roll! [Grabs a spear nearby]"

"Holy mother of Jesus! She's a man! I went to second base with a damn Frenchman! It's the Crying Games! I'm Broke Back Carter!! Oh God..."

"[After beating Kenji's men] Everybody was kung-fu fighting! That man was fast as Li- [notices Soo-Young still tied on a ledge] Soo-Yung!"

"[Holding a gun to a goon's ass] Don't move or I'll blow your ass cheeks off!"

"[To Jasmine after thinking that she and Lee were having sex instead of fighting each other to the death] You are a super freak!"

"[Catches a woman who falls while they escape from the triad club] You got a boyfriend?"

"[Lee sword-fights Kenji to the death] Lee, he might be your brother but turn him into your sister!"

"Chris Tucker as Carter"

"Jackie Chan as Lee"

"Max von Sydow as Reynard"

"Hiroyuki Sanada as Kenji"

"Roman Polanski as Detective Revi (uncredited)"

"Yvan Attal as George"

"Yûki Kudô as Dragon Lady (as Youki Kudoh)"

"Noémie Lenoir as Genevieve (as Noemie Lenoir)"

"Jingchu Zhang as Soo Yung (as Zhang Jingchu)"

"Tzi Ma as Ambassador Han"

"And you're not my brother."

"Henry O as Master Yu (as Henry O.)"

"Mia Tyler as Marsha"

"Prepare for their finest hour and their only finest one"

"They're rushing through the hours quick"

"The Rush Is On!"

"Dana Ivey as Sister Agnes"

"If you're half-Chinese, I'm half-black. I'm your brother and I'm fly. You down with that, Snoopy? That's dope, isn't it?"