"For your information, I'm part Chinese now. That's right, Lee. For the last three years, I've studied the ancient teaching of Buddha, earning two black belts in Wushu martial arts, spending every afternoon at the Hong Kong Garden Massage Parlor on Pico and Bundy. I'm half-Chinese, baby."

"In case you missed it, man, people are trying to kill me! I'm covered in shit and some French cops whupped my ass with some yellow pages, man. So don't tell me it ain't none of my business!"

"Fine. I'm not your brother."

"Lee, I'm in trouble. I need some assistance!"

"Sister, you tell this piece of S-word that I will personally F-word him up."

"I am trying kill somebody, man! Damn!"

"I wouldn't say nothing. He has me. His brother from another mother."

"[mouths] I'm dead?"

"You Asian! Stop humiliating yourself!"

"I need a big suite, two beds, two showers, a massage therapist, some new clothes and a case of Old Spice."

"Lee. I got a big problem, man. This guy's on steroids. He got a head like Barry Bonds."