"Life is filled with holes Johnny's laying there in his sperm coffin The angel looks down at him and says "Oh, pretty boy Can't you show me nothing but surrender?"

"The vital importance of Patti Smith in the history of rock and roll music cannot be overstated. An icon of the New York art scene, Smith was instrumental in the development of punk and alternative rock. From the floors of Max’s Kansas City and the CBGB club, Smith orchestrated a musical revolution that still maintains its relevance to this day, five decades later. Despite her undisputed position as the queen of punk rock, Smith’s cultural diet is incredibly broad, incorporating everything from Motown to noise rock."

"Patti Smith, the rock n roll legend...as Patti Smith sings famously, "People have the power.""

"Her writing is so brilliant and beautiful."

"She is a soldier. She will not be defeated."

"If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.”"

"Civilized life begins with a boiled egg sitting upright in an egg cup."

"Dear Miss Manners: What about Easter? I suppose you have etiquette rules that apply to Easter Day? Gentle Reader: Certainly, and when the Day of Judgment comes, Miss Manners will have etiquette rules to apply to that, as well."

"Dear Miss Manners: What should I say when I am introduced to a homosexual "couple?" Gentle Reader: "How do you do?" "How do you do?""

"Dear Miss Manners: What is the proper way to eat potato chips? Gentle Reader: With a knife and fork. A fruit knife and an oyster fork, to be specific. Good heavens, what is the world coming to? Miss Manners does not mind explaining the finer points of gracious living, but she feels that anyone without the sense to pick up a potato chip and stuff it in their face should probably not be running around loose on the streets."

"Miss Manners doubts that there is anything in the world like an elegantly dressed Bostonian lurching across the room and diving face first into a bowl of guacamole dip while simultaneously disengaging her bodice from her bosom. Therefore, Miss Manners has a wee bit of trouble preparing a general rule for dealing with this eventuality."

"If you put together all the ingredients that naturally attract children - sex, violence, revenge, spectacle and vigorous noise - what you have is grand opera."

"In a fit of exasperation, Miss Manners once demanded of a six-year-old person how it could be so childish and was forced to admit the justice of its reply, “I'm a child.""

"Traditionally, a luncheon is a lunch that takes an eon."

"Machines do not have feelings... This is not to say that no inanimate objects have feelings -- toys are loaded with feelings, for instance, and only a monster would break the heart of a rag doll."

"I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs."

"You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini."

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."

"When I'm caught between two evils, I generally like to take the one I never tried."

"A man in the house is worth two in the street."

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

"It's not the men in your life that count, it's the life in your men."

"When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm better."

"I only like two kinds of men, domestic and foreign."

"Oh, Beulah, Peel me a grape."

"Why don't you come up sometime and see me? … Come on up, I'll tell your fortune."

"Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie."

"You take one thing and add it to another and you get two. Two and two is four; and five'll get you ten if you know how to work it!"

"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted."

"I'm the kinda girl who works for Paramount by day, and Fox all night"

"To her British lover about to climb in bed with 80-something Mae: She said that she hoped soon to be able to say what Paul Revere said — 'The British are coming'. This was the last one-liner Mae ever uttered on film."

"Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"When you got the personality, you don't need the nudity."

"Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution."

"Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you."

"I've been in more laps than a napkin."

"She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong."

"Since liberals never print retractions, they can say anything. What they said in the past is always deemed inadmissible and unfair to quote."

"When you're allowed to exist on the same continent of the United States of America, protecting you with a nuclear shield around you, you're polite and you support us when we've been attacked on our own soil. They violated that protocol. … They better hope the United States doesn't roll over one night and crush them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent."

"A couple alleged males attempted to sucker punch a 100-pound woman and missed. And they ended up with their faces smashed in and spending the night in the Pima County Jail, where I'm sure — being good liberals — their views on gay marriage will serve them well."

"If Gore had been elected president, right now he would just be finding that last lesbian quadriplegic for the Special Forces team."

"Vester: You say you'd rather not talk to liberals at all? Coulter: I think a baseball bat is the most effective way these days."

"What are the odds that Dan Rather would have accepted such patently phony documents from, say, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth?"

"[Learning difficulties are a cover for] rich parents with dumb kids...That's why 'Pinch' Sulzberger, the publisher of The New York Times, is alleged to have dyslexia — because he's retarded."

"When we were fighting communism, OK, they had mass murderers and gulags, but they were white men and they were sane. Now we're up against absolutely insane savages."

"Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazened with the "F-word" are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling."