"The Mississippi River broke through a protective dike today. What is a protective dike? Is that a large woman standing near the river going [in Butch voice] "Don't go near there!" [in Girly voice] "But Betty-" [in Butch voice] "Don't go near there! Get away from the river! Stay away from there." I know, we can't use the word "dyke." You can't even say "lesbian", it's "women in comfortable shoes." Thank you very much."

"Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT? 'Cause if it leaks to the VC he could end up MIA, and then we'd all be put on KP."

"Dan Stanton - Censor #1"

"Cu Ba Nguyen - Jimmy Wah"

"Floyd Vivino - Eddie Kirk"

"Richard Portnow - Dan 'The Man' Levitan"

"Juney Smith - Phil McPherson"

"Richard Edson - Private Abersold"

"Noble Willingham - Brigadier General Taylor"

"J.T. Walsh - Sergeant Major Dickerson"

"Robert Wuhl - Marty Lee Dreiwitz"

"Bruno Kirby - Lieutenant Steven Hauk"

"A VC sympathizer can get killed real easy, don't you know that? Somebody stumbles, they don't mean to shoot you, they're sorry…friendly fuckin' casualty. I mean, a body bag's a body bag, right?"

"Jack Gwaltney - PFC. Rowan"

"John Leguizamo - PFC. Antonio Diaz"

"Thuy Thu Le - Tran Thi Oanh/Girl on Bus"

"John C. Reilly - PFC. Herbert Hatcher"

"Oh, you wanna take an attack posture wit' me? Yeah, you got a weapon. Clark got a weapon, Clark got a knife! We all got weapons! Anybody can blow anybody away, any second. Which is the way it ought to be. Always."

"Don Harvey - Cpl. Thomas E. Clark"

"Sean Penn - Sgt. Tony Meserve"

"Michael J. Fox - PFC Eriksson"

"It's not the enemy you fight to kill, but the innocent you fail to save."

"Even in war… murder is murder."

"This goddamn thing's turnin' us on our heads, man! I mean, Just because any of us at any second might be blown away, everybody's acting like we can do anything, man! And it don't matter what we do! But I'm thinkin' maybe it's the other way around. You know, maybe the main thing is just the opposite. Because we might be dead in the next split second, we gotta be extra careful what we do. Jesus, man, maybe it matters more than we even know."

"On the day I was born, my momma grunted. I popped out. Took one look around. "Shit!" I says. It's Two Creeks, Texas." So about eight years ago I'm still in Two Creeks. My wife's about to give birth to her first child. I took her to the hospital, natural thing to do. Well, she was refused admittance to this hospital on the basis of her race- which is, as you might guess, Negro. Next thing I know the baby ain't about to wait. And so my son is born on the goddamn floor of this hospital's reception room… Eriksson, I flipped the fuck out. I started turnin' over chairs, kickin' lamps- wasn't long before I was in jail. Now, wasn't I on the side of righteousness? So what was I doing in jail? What I was doing, let me advise you, was fixin' to shoot some mothafuckas working in that hospital, that's what I was doing."

"Dale Dye - Capt. Hill"

"Dan Martin - Hawthorne"

"Ving Rhames - Lt. Reilly"

"Erik King - Cpl. Brown"

"You can disagree. You can say that it's not right. That's what freedom is."

"OK, Ralph, you know, I don't have to help you, but let me tell you something. If you flunk out and die in Vietnam, that's the end of our friendship, fuck you, you know."

"[To a hitchhiker] Hop in! We're not homosexuals or anything."

"We have naked people giving us free food!"

"Robert Downey Jr. - Ralph Carr"

"Kiefer Sutherland - Scott"

"Bruce Dern - Cliff"

"Mariette Hartley - Jessie"

"Winona Ryder - Beth"

"Joanna Cassidy - Ev"

"Christopher Wynne - Alden"

"Keller Kuhn - Marsha"

"Steve Foster - Marshall"

"Mert Hatfield - Coach Heart"

"Welton Tootle - Junior Roberts"

"Don Devendorf - Reverend Hardy"

"Dr. Robert Louis Stevenson - Dean Bonner"

"Jason Summers - Processor"

"Scott N. Stevens - Hitchhiker"

"Chuck Aspegren - Peter "Axel" Axelrod"

"George Dzundza - John Welsh"