"[to Jan and Jace] You rotten kids! This is all your fault! I owe you nothing! Without me, you'd be on the Herculoids' planet following Gleep and Gloop with brooms! And you two are no longer friends of mine! I'm telling that fat geek-a-nerd who does my webpage to officially list you two ingrates as enemies from now on!"

"Welcome back, stupid viewers! You'll watch anything! Go ahead, change the channel. You'll be back!"

"Why do we always hurt the ones we love?! Why, Banjo, why?! Banjo! Banjo! BANJO!"

"Hey, this thing on the monitor's not my mother! My room was always clean."

"Look into the eyes of justice, Your Mother. You'll never get my power bands, savvy? Batmantis and I will fight you to the end!"

"Dames are like mustard: they taste great on a sandwich. But when you're not eating a sandwich... they just sit there in the fridge... on a shelf... in a jar... labeled... mustard."

"I saw a yard gnome once. It didn't scare me!"

"Bears are Crazy. They'll bite your head if you're wearing a steak on it."

"I'll spank you smartly with my spank ray."

"I have a giant brain that is able to reduce any complex machine into a simple yes or no answer."

"Graham McTavish as Vlad Dracula Tepes"

"Marsha Thomason as Greta"

"Titus Welliver as Ratko"

"Malcolm McDowell as Varney"

"Yasmine Al Massri as Morana"

"Ivana Milicevic as Striga"

"Jessica Brown Findlay as Lenore"

"Bill Nighy as St. Germain"

"Jaime Murray as Carmilla"

"Peter Stormare as Godbrand"

"Adetokumboh M'Cormack as Isaac"

"Theo James as Hector"

"Emily Swallow as Lisa Tepes"

"Matt Frewer as The Bishop"

"Tony Amendola as The Elder"

"Alejandra Reynoso as Sypha Belnades"

"James Callis as Alucard"

"Maxx: The pounding in my head is like an ice pick, but I can’t stop! One minute I saw Julie Winters in my mind, dressed as the Leopard Queen and insane…The next I was back here, still chasing this little monster! The gawkers glare at me. Since to them the Isz looks like a 96 year old grand mother…But I know it is a tool of the evil sorcerer, Mr. Gone, who is a serial rapist and murderer! He will destroy the city unless I stop him! Of course, maybe they are all staring at me cause I think I just said that all of that out loud, oops ."

"Richard Armitage as Trevor Belmont"

"“I think Warren has an instinct for creating that human dimension for a character that makes you want to spend time with them even if what they ultimately do is not something that you’re supportive of,” said Seibert, which is quite obvious here – Dracula commands his armies to kill every human on sight, terrorizing them nightly to punish the entire race for the actions of a select few, murdering women and children in the process. With Dracula’s crusade to eliminate the whole of humanity, shades of the character’s villainous history do indeed shine through. But we’re also shown the immense pain and immeasurable bleakness that he must feel, knowing he’s doomed to an eternity without, quite possibly, the only one he’s ever loved at his side."

"It could have been a simple narrative borne from the original games’ lore, sprinkled with sleek choreography and exciting battles between humanity and their vampiric nemeses – but the various personalities working on the show saw something more in the adaptation, they told Variety during a set of interviews. The show eventually came together after a painfully long development time that nearly saw it languish in obscurity."

"The gruesome dirge, where an army of vampire and demon soldiers routinely eviscerate humans with gleeful fervor in the name of Dracula’s sorrow-fueled vendetta against the entire race, is oddly hopeful and tender. For what feels like the first time in the history of “Castlevania,” you want to root for the lord of all vampires. They took his love away, you see, and so the whole of humanity must pay."

"“By giving Dracula the human dimension that he really has to have to make the story sustainable, you have to find the human element in him,” said Frederator Studios founder and executive producer Fred Seibert of the character. “Nobody is ultimately all bad. Once you know someone is bad, why spend your time with them? All of our time is precious. Committing to a film where characters are unlikeable – what’s the point?"

"Impressively animated fight scenes, brutal violence, and vampiric political intrigue accost monster-hunting trio Trevor, Sypha, and Adrian in Netflix’s take on Konami’s vampire and monster-laden “Castlevania” series."

"Characters’ goals can turn with little more incentive than a twist of dialogue. Trevor is a selfish man and reluctant hero weighed down by his family’s legacy, at least until an old man tells him enough times that he needs to protect people from Dracula’s demons. The show is also full of people getting brutally dismembered, bleeding and vomiting. It never justifies these graphic depictions the way a show like “Game of Thrones”, might use a viscerally violent scene to create a sense of danger. Instead, the violence feels intentionally flashy and sleek."

"Where the show falters isn’t in the ideas themselves, but how they are executed. For instance the show spends the first episode making Dracula into sympathetic character as opposed to cartoonish vil-lain with no real motivation beyond an unjustified drive to be evil. And yet, the cartoonish villain role still materializes, when it becomes apparent that the season’s true antagonist is the Church. The clergy not only invoke Dracula’s wrath by burning his wife to death as a witch, but then spend the next three episodes actively impeding anyone who might stop Dracula — for no other reason a vague notion of controlling the masses."

"As alluded to in the first two seasons and explicitly shown in the third season, the humans are analogous to animals in the eyes of vampires. There is commentary to be explored about Hector seen as an animal and his treatment being based upon what type of animal he represents: livestock, a beast of burden or a pet. It is refreshing to see men sexually dominated in the same serious way that women have been on screen. Though I am not condoning such actions in real life, conveying gender equality — even in the darkest ways in which film and television do — is important to elicit reactions from the viewer."

"Kurtwood Smith as Jerry"

"Andrea Martin as Pender"

"Jason Schwartzman as Dave"

"Barry Stigler as Mr. Gone"

"Amy Danles as Sara"

"Glynnis Talken as Julie Winters and Glorie"

"Michael Haley as The Maxx"

"I'm that part of you that escapes, Julie. I reflect what's deep inside, the image of strength and independence you felt before you were... violated. But as I absorb more misery and bitterness, I change. I fear what I am becoming, Julie. But now that you have seen this, the world can never be the same size again."