"Oh yeah, terribly funny. Really witty! God, this place has gone to the dogs. Wait until my father hears that Dumbledore's got this oaf teaching classes."

"[holding the Marauder's Map] Lumos. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. Mischief managed. Nox."

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"[after Buckbeak saves him and Hermione from Werewolf Lupin] Poor Professor Lupin's having a really tough night."

"[seeing Sirius talking with his past version] You see Sirius talking to me there? He's asking me to come live with him. [Hermione: That's great.] When we free him, I'll never have to go back to the Dursleys. It'll just be me and him. We could live in the country, some place you can see the sky. I think he'll like that after all those years in Azkaban."

"[Sirius: That was a noble thing you did back there. He doesn't deserve it.] Well, I just didn't think my dad would've wanted his two best friends to become killers. Besides, dead, the truth dies with him. Alive, you're free."

"[to Professor Lupin before he heads back to the Gryffindor dorm] Professor, just so you know, I don't think that map always works. Earlier, it showed someone in the castle… someone I know to be dead. [Lupin: Oh, really, and who might that be?] Peter Pettigrew."

"He was their friend… and he betrayed them. [furiously] HE WAS THEIR FRIEND! [vengefully] I hope he finds me. Because when he does, I'm gonna be ready. When he does, I'm gonna KILL HIM!"

"I broke the law. Underage wizards aren't allowed to use magic at home."

"Expecto patronum!"

"I love Miss Andrews, everyone does. If I was just a few years older."

"Roy Sampson - Dunbar"

"Lucy Davenport - Lottie"

"Diana Hardcastle - Claire"

"Tom Wilkinson - Taxi Driver"

"Paul Nicholls - Ian Wyndham"

"Jennifer Love Hewitt - Samantha Andrews"

"The way you love me, vanish all the tears."

"I don't wanna be adored, I wanna be loved."

"Sam's diary: They say there's always someone in a relationship who loves more. Oh God I wish it wasn't me."

"Charles Napier - General Hawk"

"Will Ferrell - Mustafa"

"Verne Troyer - Mini-Me"

"Mindy Sterling - Frau Farbissina"

"Seth Green - Scott Evil"

"Rob Lowe - Young Number Two"

"Robert Wagner - Number Two"

"Michael York - Basil Exposition"

"Elizabeth Hurley - Vanessa Kensington"

"Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell"

"Mike Myers - Austin Powers/Dr. Evil/Fat Bastard"

"If you see one movie in 1999, see Star Wars. But, if you see two movies, see Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me [tagline from trailer]"

"I'm Coming Again, Baby! [Australia]"

"He's back, he's even bigger and he's up for it!"

"The BRITISH Empire Strikes Back!"

"The return of Dr. Evil."

"Double-O Behave!"

"I'm Back, Baby!"

"First he fought for the Crown. Now he's fighting for the family jewels!"

"What do you call a swinger old enough to be your father? Daddy!"

"Steven Spielberg - Himself"

"He's still evil... He's still deadly... and he's still surrounded by frickin' idiots!"

"Michael Caine - Nigel Powers"

"John Travolta - Johan Van der Smut/Goldmember"

"Fred Savage - Number Three"

"Verne Troyer - Mini-Me"

"Mindy Sterling - Frau Farbissina"

"Seth Green - Scott Evil"

"Robert Wagner - Number Two"

"Michael York - Basil Exposition"