"[while beating a tailgater] Don't tailgate! Don't you ever tailgate! Do you know how much space is needed to stop a car traveling at 35 miles per hour? Six car lengths! Six fuckin' car lengths! That's a hundred and six fuckin' feet, mister! If I had to stop suddenly, you woulda hit me! I want you to get a fuckin' driver's manual, and I want you to study that motherfucker! And I want you to obey the the goddamn rules of the road! Fifty-fuckin' thousand people were killed on the highways last year 'cause of fuckin' assholes like you! Tell me you're gonna get a manual!"

"Boy, that's smooth. Smooth as shit off a duck's ass!"

"Marilyn Manson and Twiggy Ramirez - porn stars"

"(voice only) - Forewoman"

"as Guard Mike"

"See, kid, this is what I'm talking about. We could be working together again, for God's sake. You know? Making big money, killing important people!"

"Benny Urquidez - Felix La Pubelle"

"K. Todd Freeman - Agent Kenneth McCullers"

"Hank Azaria - Agent Steve Lardner"

"Jeremy Piven - Paul Spericki"

"Minnie Driver - Debi Newberry"

"Dan Aykroyd - Mr. Grocer"

"Joan Cusack - Marcella"

"Alan Arkin - Dr. Oatman"

"John Cusack - Martin Blank"

"Paul Spericki: Wow. Just looking for a little validation for my life but apparently came up SHORT!"

"Bob Destepello: You wanna do some blow?"

"Ultimart Clerk: [after the convenience store blows up] No, I'm NOT all right! I'm hurt, I'm pissed... I gotta find a new job!"

"Agent Steve Lardner: You want to kill the good guy but not be the bad guy. It doesn't work like that. You've got to wait until the bad guy kills the good guy. Then when you kill the bad guy, you're the good guy."

"Paul Spericki: I'll see you at the "I've-Peaked-and-I'm-Kidding-Myself" party."

"Marcella: Sir, it's out of my hands. The gods want you to go back home, and they want you to delete someone while you're there."

"Like I'm gonna put a bullet hole in your FUCKIN' forehead and I'm gonna FUCK the brain hole!"

"Uh-oh! Smells like a wedding! You're breaking my heart down here, Blank! I can't aim through the tears!"

"Easy there, chief. I don't see hollow-point wound care on the menu."

"Hey, hey, bing bing bing bing bang! POPCORN!"

"[Martin gives Debi flowers] I'll go put these in some rubbing alcohol."

"Where are all the good men dead? In the heart or in the head?"

"People say forgive and forget. Yeah, I don't know. I say forget about forgiving and just accept. And get the hell out of town."

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's... well... broken."

"Everybody's coming back to take stock of their lives. You know what I say? Leave your livestock alone."

"A thousand innocent people get killed every day, but a millionaire's pet gets detonated and you're marked for life."

"[to himself, rehearsing] Hi! I'm Martin Blank, do you remember me? I'm not married, I don't have any kids, and I'd blow your head off if someone paid me enough."

"I just honestly don't know what I have in common with those people anymore... or with anyone, really. I mean, they'll all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they'll have made themselves a part of something, and they can talk about what they do. And what am I going to say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?""

"Dr. Oatman, please pick up, pick up! It's Martin Blank! I, I'm standing where my, uh, living room was and it's not here because my house is gone and it's an Ultimart! You can never go home again, Oatman... but I guess you can shop there."

"I know what I do isn't... moral, per se..."

"When I left, I joined the army, and when I took the service exam my psych profile fit a certain... moral flexibility would be the only way to describe it... and I was loaned out to a CIA-sponsored program, and we sort of found each other. That's how it works."

"I guess you could say I went west. You know, the way of Horatio Alger, Davy Crockett, the Donner Party..."

"If I show up at your door, chances are you did something to bring me there."

"They say the day you die your name is written on a cloud."

"Regis Toomey - Det. Sgt. Gillespie"

"Art Baker - Det. Lt. Cooley"

"Wallace Ford - Stranger in Empire State Hotel Lobby"

"Bill Goodwin - House detective of Empire State Hotel"

"Norman Lloyd - Mr. Garmes"

"Rhonda Fleming - Mary Carmichael"

"Paul Harvey - Dr. Hanish"

"Steven Geray - Dr. Graff"

"John Emery - Dr. Fleurot"

"Leo G. Carroll - Dr. Murchison"

"Michael Chekhov - Dr. Alexander 'Alex' Brulov"