"Alex Nussbaum: Look at his name. "Stan" written in capital letters, with not just one but two exclamation marks, just in case you didn't know he was an intense guy. Stan! (on "Stan" by Eminem featuring Dido)"

"David Kerr: If you wash your hands in your pee, then it saves you a bunch of time. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"Barry Taylor: It isn't your skin color that makes you ugly, it's your face. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"Alex Nussbaum: When you eat you feel like a failure? Funny, 'cause when I eat I feel like a beverage. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"David Kerr: I thought it was pretty funny until I recognized my mom's writing, though I'm not sure why she drew me in a dress. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"David Kerr: Here's an idea, why don't you keep your crappy music your dirty little secret, and spare us from listening to it. (on "Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects)"

"Nicole Arbour: When I see the lights, it makes me go boom boom boom shboom boom boom boom b-boom, spandex! (on "Sorry" by Madonna)"

"Steven Shehori: Whoa, looks like Madonna isn't choosy about the men she picks. But enough about Guy Ritchie. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)"

"DJ Trixx: I'm sorry, but Justin Timberlake makes this song so fruity. (on "Signs" by Snoop Dogg featuring Justin Timberlake and Charlie Wilson)"

"Steven Shehori: [In the music video, Madonna dances in a MMA cage] We now observe Madonna in her natural habitat. (on "Sorry" by Madonna)"

"Ron Sparks: Thank God it's not the G-Unit remix...What?...It is the G-Unit remix? G-G-G-G-G-Unit! (on "I Know You Don't Love Me" by Tony Yayo featuring G-Unit)"

"Roddy Colmer: You're fired. You're fired. You're so fired. You're gay. You're fired. (on "Walk Away" by Kelly Clarkson)"

"Trevor Boris: Hey, kids! This is how baby cars are made. You take a daddy car and the daddy car puts his engine in the mommy car's trunk. (on "Go with the Flow" by Queens of the Stone Age)"

"Behave or I'll chuck / throw / sling me tea over you" (to audience)"

"Riff Raff. (referring the audience)"

"I'm not gonna do the rules today cos I can't be bothered."

"Some of us are born on the sunny side of the bed, some of us on the dark side. ~ On the Paul O’Grady Show, Channel 4 television, 7th Oct. 2009"

"Now don't go and send me in (random food product Paul mentions he likes)"

"Oh come on Buster, we're leaving!"

"Raise the roof for (guest name)"

"It was a great read."

"Evenin' folks!"

"It's fun, fun, fun, fun, fun all the way campers!"

"They've only came in for a warm."

"Times are hard and friends are few. (usually to competition winners)"

"If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya."

"Believe you, me."

"Oh puh-lease."

"Spend it on yourself."

"Oooh, what? Fabulous!"

"Bert, get your finger out your nose and play the V"

"Live at 5 on 4"

"C'mon Bust, do yer trick!"

"Roll the clip, Bert!"

"put DVD name here> is out now on DVDVDVD."

"Ooooh, by 'eck Lover Dover Clover!"

"It's time for me to get busy on my organ as we play the 'two thousand pound organ game'. Are you ready? 1, 2, 3.."

"Keep up or I get ratty."

"So what more d'ya want?"

"Let me 'ear ya"

"I think it's time for my medication!"

"It's the medication!"

"It's the pills!"

"Don't jump Buster!" (when on edge of desk)"

"Buster, go and play in the Blue Peter garden, but don't dig Shep up."

"On tonight's show it's the one and only..."

"Imagine if an American tourist in a hotel room tuned in now..."