"[About child sex trafficking] It's already surpassed the illegal weapons trade, and soon it will surpass the drug trade. Do you know why? You can sell a bag of cocaine once. A five-year-old child, you can sell them five to ten times a day, for ten years straight."

"Michelle Rodriguez as She"

"Nimród Antal - Booth's bodyguard #1"

"Cheryl "Chin" Cunningham - Torrez' henchwoman"

"Tito Larriva - Culebra Cruzado"

"Alicia Marek - June Booth"

"Juan Gabriel Pareja - Rico"

"Mayra J. Leal - Naked Girl"

"Electra and Elise Avellan - Nurses Mona and Lisa"

"Felix Sabates - Doctor Felix"

"Billy Blair - Billy, Von Jackson's henchman."

"Tom Savini - Osiris Amanpour"

"Ara Celi - Reporter"

"Gilbert Trejo - Jorge"

"Daryl Sabara - Julio"

"Shea Whigham - Sniper"

"Lindsay Lohan - April Booth"

"Don Johnson - Von Jackson"

"Cheech Marin - Padre Benicio Del Toro"

"Jeff Fahey - Michael Booth"

"Michelle Rodriguez - Luz/Shé"

"Steven Seagal - Rogelio Torrez"

"Jessica Alba - Sartana Rivera"

"Robert De Niro - Senator John McLaughlin"

"Danny Trejo - Machete Cortez"

"Steven Seagal as Torrez"

"Danny Trejo as Machete"

"Jessica Alba as Sartana"

"Robert De Niro as The Senator"

"Lindsay Lohan as The Sister"

"A Pissed Off Mexican Out to Settle a Score"

"Yesterday He Was a Decent Man Living a Decent Life. Now He is a Brutal Savage Who Must Slaughter to Stay Alive."

"He knows the score. He gets the women. And he kills the bad guys!"

"If you're going to hire Machete to kill the bad guy, you better make damn sure the bad guy isn't you!"

"They just fucked with the wrong Mexican!"

"given an offer he couldn't refuse..."

"Rena Sofer - Rachel Rose"

"I work harder than God! If he had hired me, he would have made the world by Thursday."

"The truth is, I don't really learn that much about your faith by asking questions like that... because those aren't really questions about faith, those are questions about religion. And it's very important to understand the difference between religion and faith. Because faith is not about having the right answers. Faith is a feeling. Faith is a hunch, really. It's a hunch that there is something bigger connecting it all... connecting us all together. And that feeling, that hunch, is God. And coming here tonight, on your Sunday evening... to connect with that feeling, that is an act of faith. And so all I have to do is look around the room at this packed church... to know that we're doing pretty well as a community. Even if all of you failed my pop quiz miserably."

"Sometimes we don't see certain things until we're ready to see them in a certain way."

"God was showing off when he made you."

"May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us - may God turn their hearts. And if he cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so that we may know them by their limping."

"If you have to believe in something, you might as well believe in love."

"Ben Stiller - Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram"

"Edward Norton - Father Brian Kilkenney Finn"

"Jenna Elfman - Anna Reilly"