Sketch Comedy Tv Shows

"Salesman: Listen, I al-"

"Shop Assistant: Listen."

"Shop Assistant's friend: Don't do what?"

"Shop Assistant: (pause) Don't do what?"

"Shop Assistant: Stop."

"Shop Assistant's friend: Stop."

"Salesman: (snaps)Just be quiet for one minute, please!"

"Shop Assistant's friend: Okay. (To her friend) Be quiet."

"Salesman: Could you just stop it-(They both shush him. He angrily gets up and picks his stuff up and leaves)"

"Shop Assistant's friend: Did he pay for those?"

"Salesman: I just told I've been travelling from Birmingham since five."

"Salesman: Yeah, it has been a long day for me, I've been travelling from Birmingham since five."

"Ignatius: Of course, now why are we not moving, the suspence is killing so let's go fast fast I don't got tiiiimme!"

"Son': But Daddy, I have to put my keys in first."

"Shop Assistant: So it hasn't been a long day for you."

"Shop Assistant: ... been travelling from Birmingham since five, yeah."

"Shop Assistant: ...travelling from Birmingham since five."

"Shop Assistant: Colleague? What colleague?"

"Shop Assistant: They're not yours to return."

"Salesman: Sorry, It's been a long day-"

"Shop Assistant: Have you seen anything else that you like?"

"Shop Assistant: Yeah It has been a long day."

"Shop Assistant: Oh you don't wanna buy 'em now?"

"Salesman: You don't have to buy 'em now."

"Salesman: I don't wanna buy 'em."

"Salesman: Oh it's only ten in the morning."

"Shop Assistant: trying out some samples, yeah?"

"Shop assistant: Piece one-off."

"Salesman: Or shall I be speaking to the manager?"

"Shop Assistant: Simon N Tell yeah..."

"Salesman: Hey...(No answer) Hi... Hello..."

"Salesman: We err specialize in women's clothes..."

"Shop Assistant: Should you be speaking to the manager?"

"Shop Assistant: Yeah it's 10 o'cloooock!"

"(Coughing and spluttering noises) Hmmmmm! I don't need to ask what you did in there man. That was definitely a gallon of number 3!"

"Do you do that at home?"

"Do I look like A to Z?"

"Lots of my friends are fat and they would eat you!"

"And I'll give you some antibiotics, 'cos that water is contam-u-nated maan!"

"I am going to Kennington! Cheers, mate!"

"Hey! Sodom and Gomorrah!"

"Do you want a lollipop, maaaaaaaaaaaaaan??"

"What was that? A number 1,2,3 or 4?!"

"One pound!"

"Shop Assistant: ...Hiii...(bored tone)"

"Salesman: Err... I'm from a company called Simon-N-Tell..."

"Shop Assistant: Women's clothes (pronounced "clofes")"

"Salesman: Every piece is a one-off"

"Salesman: So I was wondering if you would-"

"(To passenger with a baby in a pram) Take your spaceship off my bus!"